If the angels handed out feathers of hope before
I never received them until they gave me you.
I was lost in nothingness, drinking Wine Coolers
Wishing I couldn’t only see what I had given up
I could repeat over and over again how much I
Was lost and wanted out of life, but you stopped that
We met under unorthodox conditions, now we laugh it off
Yet when you came -- I cried until I swollen smiles came to my face
There was no way to explain the emotion that I tried to blind
I became confused: I lied to myself and the truth didn’t exist
If there was surely anything to say
Words could not describe you, how I feel
The joy inside my heart could lift me up
It could keep me alive to feel everything I ignored
And knowing you're beside me, I'll need it
(Hahahahahahahahahaha! The Black Rose? Personal Life?
Believe it or not. I would also like some help... somehow I am at a lack for creativity.)
Dedicated to Vernon
Here's to making Life and Love great for One year.
The journey began May 9, 2005 :love:
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141,738 Literary Works • 675,654 Reviews
Wow this suprised me heh and Xanthan seems to pointed out everything thank you :lots_hearts:
heh i love you so much.
LEAVE VERNON OUTTA THE CRITIQUES!
How'd you like me to dangle this puppy over the lava?
...
That's what I thought
cut out the "I" right there...I think that's a type. and "came to" could be replaced with a better, less common verb.
This need assitance. ending's are punchlines a lot of time, and you are a punchline person. so why not add that flair? first of all, the second line is grammatically incorrect - you dont need a colon there. next, the "years and years to come" thing irks me. it's sort of cliche, and i'm not going to write the ending for you, but i think that you could expand on this idea.
c'mon - for vernon.
The beginning, on the other hand, I really enjoyed. It was one of the better pieces of poetry i've seen from you. Either way, I'm sure he'll love it.