The stars spell your name
the moon shines your face
your voice echos in the wind
and I can feel you in the grass
The midnight air smells like your breath
I open my arms and feel you hug me
As I drift to sleep I dream of you
it is 4:30 Am give me some leeway.
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139,464 Literary Works • 672,570 Reviews
Yes, very nice. I felt you could do more with it, use some more images, maybe show us a little bit about who this person you're talking about is. Overall, good work, especially impressive if you have been having trouble sleeping (just a guess becase of what time you wrote it). But sometimes lack of sleep can produce some really interesting thoughts.
It was a very lovely poem. I especially loved the last line though it could use a little work to be even more powerful. This poem could also use a fiew images and that would be outstanding.
Wow. I get chills everytime I read something like this, because this poem was able to capture what I can never seem to express in my own poetry. I love this. Very well done.
Will do.
Not bad. Fix up the last line, maybe expand a bit, and good work.
I like it. You need an a in breath though. Especially the first four lines were really cool.