I’m gonna tell you my secret; the one that I won't want anybody to know so be silent and don't flinch for the people around us can hear the fear. On the phone I whisper it to you and I trust you, with my heart my life. Rustle.
We hang up silently with a lie in our hearts, believing each another was a mistake but everybody takes that chance when you tell a secret.
I walk around the hallways of my school my things are in my arms and all is well.
Everybody around me is whispering.
I can not hear them but I know it's about me. I can feel my name being spoken my friends and stranger alike. The glances they pass are not kind
And I take too much time to hesitate...
And the only one I can look back to is you. You're the only on I told, I know. Because you are my friend, because you're like a sister, I think I can brush it off my shoulders. I can't because I know that this promise was broken and I won't let it happen again.
You don't see me looking at you and you keep on talking behind my back.
It’s not that fun seeing your best friend seem less like one each moment in time.
But I walk away from it all, forgetting it all as to never again look behind me anymore.
You call me that lone cold night and with all my might I try and talk to you.
I can't seem to say the words I'm feeling and right now I know you're not my friend.
You're crying your eyes out and letting these tears of regret roll down your cheeks as I listen.
I don't say a word and I don't plan to because you are the one I'm listening too and I can't help but feel that you aren't my friend anymore.
Friends never let each another down.
You are still crying and I'm waiting for you to stop and I'm so mad that you even think that I will forgive you.
How dare you call me so here on out, promise me you'll just get out of my mind, of my life, of my memories and thoughts combined!
We hang up. I bet you're still crying but won't worry. I don't want you to cry over the loss of your best friend because there isn’t really anything bad about that, is there?
I walk down the hallways of tomorrow and I can see you're over there, with those clips in your hair, which I gave you on your 13th birthday, 1 year ago.
I see you're talking to my secret as I draw closer. Nothing' is happening, nothing is moving as I see him bend over to you and kiss you on those lying lips.
Kiss you with the kiss I was born to get.
You look at me, see me, and run away quickly. You're afraid of me, you shouldn't be, I know it too but I guess that we are too naive to even notice anything.
Oh well, its swell, all is settled.
You and I are no longer friends but this pain inside me, lingering, smelling like rotten mold growing in my heart won't stop.
You're new ‘boyfriend’ came up to me and explained from beginning to end.
How was I supposed to know it wasn't you? When I told you my secret your sister was on the other line when I told my divine secrets to you?
I have this feeling of regret in my gut but I don't stop ignoring you because if we were really friends then you would stop hanging out, kissing not missing, and my secret?
I'm glad, you're happy.
Pain drives me to the ends and farther, waiting for something to catch my fall, I'm on my knees, begging you to be the one to help me through this life of mine and you brush me away like shoulder dust only because I didn’t say sorry first.
I'm lying here in bed. I can't help but remember the good times we had together just us two, we were invincible together.
Phone is ringing do I dare answer? Do I dare ask who's on the other line?
Do I dare wait for mother to come to my bedroom and say, "It's for you."?
I wait and I wait for my mom to come in but I hear her talking on the phone and laughing like we used to do. I'm still not ready to face the world; to face my life anymore.
What happened to us? Once we were close but now we are as far apart, far apart like Australia and Austria and everything is miles away now.
We aren't far apart but it feels like it. Why? Why does it feel like this?
Can I even remember why this whole thing happened?
I don't but I bet you do except we can't remember or talk about it, we're so far apart in heart and it's hard to even think.
I look into the past, twenty years ago, now we've grown old and life when I was 13 isn't clear anymore.
I learned a lesson in all this time, even though secrets are spilled and words are broken and hearts are hurt, just you remember that if this happens again don't be ignorant like me, naive like me, blind and deaf just like me, just remember that forgiveness is a virtue.
And what drives you into forgiving comes from within your heart.