I found you
Floating through the thin strings of my hair
As I slept on the nightmare of tomorrow
Woke up with a comfort singing into my ears
Progressing on and on through life
Attempting to follow in God’s big sandled footprints
But to what extent will I stray?
And without the halo around the high-way tunnel
I’ll crash into the darkness
It’s a deep cut, and you know it too
Life has knocked me outta the ballpark
Straight into a lake, where I drown, already decayed
I know you’re watching; why are you if
There isn’t a thing you can do?
Although summer may coat my soul in rime
Winter time burns me to the third degree
As angels appear in the snow of life
Covering the sands of time at the beach
It all freezes
And I can see you
You’re the angel that exists in hell,
The angel on the cloud that glides through
The spikes of the fiery heaven
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,552 Literary Works • 673,422 Reviews
this sounds real good
Well if i'm the Angel then i'll fly to Minnisota *sighs sadly*, if only.
Jen: Yes, envy me.
Fontroy: It was about you Vernon. Although you're not nessisarily the HELL you're the angel.
Gum: Thank you. I do suppose Angel would have made sense so I changed it to that... Until I can think straighter, this is it.
Thank you.
wow. your poetry is improving. it's like you're *sniff* all grown up.
okay, i'm over that.
best line:
rime. *shivers* image of the day.
isn't the ANGEL on the cloud, not the hell?
Well iknow this is not about me i'm not an Angel in hell *phew* It's a godo poem yeah good.
Wow. As always, I am completely jealous of your amazing unmatchable incredeble poetic ability. I especially like how, though you change subjects alot, each stanza conects with the one before it, but brings in a new idea at the same time.
***
Although summer might coat my soul in rime
This sounds a little awkward.. Perhaps, 'may' instead of 'might'?
***
My favorite stanza is the last one. It's sad, and pretty, and... Hopefull? I'm not sure what to make of it.
EDIT: Okay, I know what rime is, now. Sorry.