Elizabeth wrote:I used to think the only way that time flew
was [s]to[/s] by throw(ing) my alarm (clock) out (of) the window.
On those cold and bitter nights I wake to find
My soft complexion fading away, to be
Replaced by wrinkles and pimples and
Maybe a scar or two from fighting with that girl.
The one who had the diamond ring on her fist.
When I realize I’ve been cut I know [s]forever[/s]
I am not immortal. I am nothing but a simulation
Created by the sick godly mind that I swore was my own.
Who intended for me to know that I was
Growing haggard and aged with the times?
Like the shore break, soon I shall be sucked in,
Leaving nothing but a few washed up foot prints and
a worn red journal with doodles of the sunset.
Once I thought that I would be remembered,
[s]Then[/s] I then realized; to have a memorial you need to be dead.
I will never die. My spirit will not wither away that easily.
Exorcise (her)? as much as you please she will not go but
will retrieve that little journal and write about how
The scars of her past are long behind her and healed.
----------
Something I whipped together at the apparent spur of the moment. I want this as good as Masquarade people, so, chop chop, help me with my commas. I'm making a comeback... at least until I get tired. And Brad, be sure to use very big words in your critique, I might look them up.
---Elizabeth
PS. Happy Birthday To Me...
The things I have highlighted in red are the bits that I got drawn to. I liked them, they made the poem much more enjoyable.
The strike throughs are a bit obvious,
I liked this piece, don't quite know why it is called birthdays... but I get what you were aiming at.
Well done, Lexy x
Points: 890
Reviews: 171
Donate