The new day has begun:
Sugar we’re goin’ down, swingin’
In the park, for hours a day
And the sickness from staring at the sky
Staring at the sun in different angles
Melts away from our minds
And I miss you when you’re away
But the lunch dates symbolize memories
So will you please remember me?
Don’t go off to some other Olive Garden
Leaving me alone with Italian food is tragic
All the times you have come over
We have always managed to chatter on
Toast, fingers, squares, marriage, toasters
And then when we have something new to say
Time pulls us apart and you must leave
Today the moon reminded me of you
But why can’t you look back at me from the sky?
Do you remember how we look at each another?
That long stare into the eyes, into the soul,
Until my mom comes and pushes us apart
Screaming, “Kissing is disgusting!” And we laugh.
Because she doesn’t kiss my dad: he kisses her.
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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
Yeah, that song is me and Connor's song...
I perfer to cut my own meat 
Yes, I can finally admit this poem is about him.
About meeting him.
I love Fallout Boy as well.
Thank you for the critique.
And Skye Demon: Don't feel bad if you can't butcher and rip apart my piece of poetry
I absolutely loved your poem. It used reality to help express all of the feelings. I also loved how you used the line from sugar were goin' down(I really like fall out boy)
Ooh, I really like this a lot! Like Bobo said, the mix between realistic and deeply emotional was great. Overall, it was a strong poem from beginning to end, and I honestly can't find anything to seriously critique. Sorry.
Keep it up!
If I put the line of the song in italics would that symbolize it's not my own? Or not, because I want the line it, it fits in so well, it gives me the shivers to think of how well I placed that line
Thank you, read again!
And you must have been TPBM
I like this. I noticed that you threw in at least one line from a real song, though; isn't that plagiarism? Anyway, I like how you kind of mixed deeper stuff with more realistic stuff. I know this is a horribly unhelpful review, but I liked this poem a lot.