My zombie hands clatter across the keyboard
the keys rattle and quake and words appear
but I can't read them.
My zombie breath shoots forth as I cough
hacking upon my own dead failure!
How could it have come to this? What have I done
to deserve my grave so early?
To be a workaholic has it's toll, and
my zombie emotions don't mind,
my zombie mind doesn't comprehend...
It's weird seeing nothing but shades of grey and
just wishing that there would be florescent greens
in my death-time.
{Short, simple. I have a hacking cough and no sense of feeling or empathy whatsoever for anybody. Please comment, this is probably going to be the last poem I write for at least another year... or ever, considering nobody reads them. Also if you're bored, read an interpretation I will post later... here... on this thread.}
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140,552 Literary Works • 673,422 Reviews
I really like these few lines. It sounds really cool when you read it out loud. But the 'there would be...' should be a new line, that way your voice drops and it makes a cool effect.
I agree with Emily (LOST) it's a little shaky in someother parts but I like it for the most part!
This is pretty good. Some parts of it were a litlte shaky, but I liked the zombie symbolism stuff. I also really liked the line about seeing only shades of gray but hoping to see fluorescent greens... Good work. I hope you get better soon though. By the way, I'm Emily.
interesting. at least its different!
Don't worry, my cough drops taste like friggin' awesome strawberry candy... like CREAM SAVERS only better!
I liked it Liz!!!!! I really hope that your cough gets better...but cough drops are nasty!!!!
And about no one reading poems-I do!!!!! I love your poems!!!!!
Wiggy
*offers a large yellow coughdrop*
really weird, really cool , really simple.
I say you view my poem titled "to set an example" and combine it with this, and we got something really KICK-A**!
*Let's not curse in the comments and be respectful of other members.* -Griffinkeeper.