*It's like C-DAY only more... sexy.*
It's the time of year to care
Lingerie for you to wear
Red and white and fluffy trim
All a gift for you, from him
But, wait, you're fourteen
And besides, you can't be mean
So take that sexy bra and then
Shove it up his ASS
He KNEW what you wanted
You put it in his mind
Who gives see through tops
On Valentines?
YOU WANTED CHOCOLATE
YOU WANTED CHOCOLATE
GOD KNOWS, GOD KNOWS
YOU WANTED CHOCOLATE
CRUMPLE UP HIS GIFT OF LOVE
AND SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS
-------------- Love, Elizabeth ![]()
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If the man doesn't give me chocolate there will be no future children
Or any sort of fun it takes to get there XD
hahahah!
*Hates today with upmost hatenessssss*
excellent... whatever you may call it... ''poem'', but utterly true... chocolate rules. end of discussion. if you argue with me, I will whoop you so hard ye children will feel it... Future children that is xD.... but yesh, good job, nice job, pretty...
Heh, excellent point, Liz. As for the poeticness of the poem--not too much of it. You rhymed well in the first stanza, then just sort of quit using any sort of rhyme (or reason) in the rest of the poem. It's kinda like you just gave up trying to make it sound poetic and just went all ranty on us...
...which kinda works, actually lol.
I feel like it's missing something, but I dunno what. Oh well.
WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol that was different.
CHOCOLATE IS LOVE
IS LOVE
IS IS IS IS IS IS!!!
are you INSANE? is LIKE? ARE YOU INSANE
*huggles you* I'm sorry *sorta*
Chocolate is like love
hahah.
wow, i'd shove it up his...oh, yes *****, too. you know, you could've used the word and just rated this - it would be easier to understand, at least.
cute. no great work of art, but i most definitely loved it. the...er...***hole.
HAHAHA! OMG I love it. Seriously. I love the rhythm here - it doesnt matter that the whyming is kind - OMG did I just type "whyming"? LMAO no more chocolate for me. ANYWAY. I love the rhythm, because it's quick and light and funny, and it doesnt matter that the RHYMING isnt always regular, because it fits the rhythm so well that it seems like it rhymes anyway, if you know what I mean. The caps are good, too - I dont think it would have the same effect in italics. Very well done. Cracks me up every time I re-read it.

hahahhaha lol, what a poem, i have actually never bought anybody anything nor have i ever given a present to anyone on valentines day..... i always loose all of my money on christmas buying family a present and stuff... annoying as heck....
(whats C-day Christmas?)
Lmao! The rap goes well with the song. Trust me! Anway... I suck at poems but... I liked this! x]
THERE'S YOUR POST! Happy? x]
Yeah, C-day was my Christmas one... I had one more clever one... but now I can't remember it, I'm sure when the holiday or something arrives then I'll be able to figure it out... Anyway, thanks for the comments (Keep them comin' or I'll shove it up your ***)
hahaha!
I'm sorry, and it wasn't supposed to rhyme anyway.
it thought it was funny although it didn't really rhyme(i dont think it's supposed too)
anyway it was good.(what is c-day? christmas?)
really caputres a girl when she gets the wrong present.
(poor guy)
*Looks at you like that*

Thank you for that... *coughs* helpful spelling hint.
Lingerie! What a pretty name... I should get a kitten and name her Lawn G. Ray!
Here Lawn G. Ray! HERE!!!
I made a little rap about it, Jennafina and Emma have it
It's spelled "Lingerie."
Don't look at me like that!
If you get mad when somebody doesn't get you something you know you wanted them to get you, you have this little... em... what is it... twitch and tend to rant on an on and yell at them uncontrollably... so yeah
haha!
Niiiiiiiiice.
I think the lines in capitals should be in italics... And also, this is poetry, so I don't think it has to be censored. Although, I'm not complaining. **** doesn't really fit in with the rhyming, but it's funny. Heh heh heh.... O_o