Someone is reading my biography?
Do I strike you as interesting?
You're just bored?
Well, find something more worthwhile to do.
Don't keep reading this.
I'm telling you it's not worth it. I'm going to stop typing in a minute.
I really am.
Any minute now the writing will end. Then you'll have to find something better to do.
Look, you could do so much more with your life than read this.
Do you know how to play chess? You could become the world's best chess player.
What about golf? I don't like golf, so you can have my share of talent.
You're a writer, right? So why do you go and write something brilliant.
You could dedicate it to me.
Or make a character like me.
Nah, on seconds thoughts I want 99% of the profits.
Well, come on then! Go and write a bestseller! I want my money!
Proud in the ranks of the unemployed. Parentally funded!