Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Lyrical


Twelve Days Of Depression

by SecreteJournalist


On the first day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
a notebook full of sad poems.

On the second day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the third day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
five hate filled messages,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
six bloodied cuts,
five hate filled messages,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
seven songs on replay,
six bloodied cuts,
five hate filled messages,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the eight day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
eight reasons to die,
seven songs on replay,
six bloodied cuts,
five hate filled messages,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two tearyeyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
nine taunting voicemails,
eight reasons to die,
seven songs on replay,
six bloodied cuts,
five hate filled messages,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
ten nights of screaming,
nine taunting voicemails,
eight reasons to die,
seven songs on replay,
six bloodied cuts,
five hate filled messages,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
eleven goodbye notes,
ten nights of screaming,
nine taunting voicemails,
eight reasons to die,
seven songs on replay,
six bloodied cuts,
five hate filled messages,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
twelve empty pill bottles
eleven goodbye notes,
ten nights of screaming,
nine taunting voicemails,
eight reasons to die,
seven songs on replay,
six bloodied cuts,
five hate filled messages,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



Random avatar

Points: 437
Reviews: 3

Donate
Sun Nov 16, 2014 9:25 pm
View Likes
lunae wrote a review...



Wow.

I honestly don't know what else to say, i can relate to this on every level, and it has stuck with me all day. There are so many strong intense emotions in this, that I read this during my school day and again when i got home because i just had to read it again!

You're format is so incredibly clever!! I think that all the irony in this, with the happy christmas holiday and the suicidal thoughts are amazing. (not that the topic is amazing but you're writing is!!)

This has also inspired me to try writing about my emotions again, because no matte who sappy this sounds…. i've been trying to keep things inside of me recently and this has given me the motivation to write more again!!
Thanks!!






Thanks, this made my day brighter! I wish you the best of luck in writing <3



User avatar
33 Reviews


Points: 1104
Reviews: 33

Donate
Sat Dec 21, 2013 11:38 pm
View Likes
Shalie wrote a review...



Hey!

This was oddly enough, awesome! I enjoyed reading your own version of the 12 days of Christmas. I also found this strangely humorcal, despite there is nothing funny about depression and suicide. That should be taken seriously, none the less something about your lyrics made me smile. I find nothing wrong, and if you are feeling aggression this is a good way to get it out.

Keep on writing. Shalie




User avatar
530 Reviews


Points: 240
Reviews: 530

Donate
Sat Dec 21, 2013 9:40 pm
View Likes
Renard wrote a review...



You must really hate Christmas!

Lulz.

I have no idea what possessed you to write this, but it is strangely quite humorous, and to say I can relate would be an understatement.

This is a really clever and original idea.

My favourite day?????
'On the ninth day of Christmas,
depression gave to me,
nine taunting voicemails,
eight reasons to die,
seven songs on replay,
six cuts a-bleeding,
five hate filled messages,
four tear-filled tissues,
three sharpened blades,
two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.'

You've captured something beautiful here. XD






I'm just in a strange mood... ruining an obnoxious Christmas song kind of made me giggle... o.O



User avatar
67 Reviews


Points: 2314
Reviews: 67

Donate
Sat Dec 21, 2013 9:28 pm
View Likes
AlfonsoFernandez wrote a review...



Hello, here for a review.

That was, well, depressing. But I also find it was very creative (I just hope it's not true). Anyway, this song was well structured and it makes sense, I'm guessing you died after the Twelfth Day of Christmas?

However there are some things you might be able to improve.

Firstly,

six cuts a-bleeding,


I am guessing you wanted to write a-bleeding so it sounded like the Christmas Carol this song initially was, but I feel that it interferes with the mood of the song and bleeding, however gory it might be, just doesn't sound depressing with the a before it. So you could probably just take the "a" out, or you might want to change it to something like:

six bleeding cuts,


However that is the writer's choice so change it if you want to, or don't.

Also, something I guess you didn't do on purpose is writing the Fourth Day of Christmas twice. Also in the second paragraph/stanza (how do you call that in a song?) it should probably say:

two teary eyes,
and a notebook full of sad poems.


You forgot the "a".

But that is all I have to say. Again, this was a very creative poem, keep writing!

-Alfonso






Thank you for the review(:




A big mountain of sugar is too much for one man. I can see now why God portions it out in those little packets.
— Homer Simpson