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High School Romance| Chapter 1

by Eros

Chapter 1: Back To School

The holidays were over and it was time to go back to school. The same old school in which I had been studying since past 5 years. Now I will be promoted to grade 11.

The mischiefs done in the past grades were left behind in the past and the resolutions made after the last year's result were also forgotten. 

The classroom that used to be on 2nd floor would now be changed to the one on 3rd floor. Classrooms change as we get promoted from one grade to the next one.

The wild breaking news about those who were failed and will be repeating the class, was a common gossip amongst the crowd that was surrounding me. To be honest, I didn't care about who is failed and who is not. I was standing outside the classroom, amongst the bunch of students who were crowding the corridor.

I was hoping to see my old friends, Kazuro and Hiroyama. I gripped the stainless steel bar of the corridor and was looking down at the buses and the kids and high school boys and girls hopping out of them.

I waited and waited but there was no sign of them. A few minutes later, I saw Miss Hitch Hocker at the far end of the corridor. I didn't want to get scoldings from her on the very first day of the school. Without even glancing up at the metal plate on which classroom numbers are written, I hurried into one that was right in front of me.

I looked around and was baffled to see all new faces. 

"Damn. Wrong section." I was just going to step back out of the classroom, but Miss. Hitch Hocker gestured me to go inside. Everyone at the school called her Miss Hitler, because she was always spotted scolding some or the other student. Everyone was afraid of her. 

"I will attend the first lecture in this section and then go back to 11th A," I thought as I looked throughout the classroom, searching for an empty place. I didn't tell her that I came into this classroom by mistake, firstly because I was afraid of her, and secondly because everything happened so quickly that I couldn't even think how to tell her. Along with this, I was hesitating also because I didn't want the boys and girls to laugh and mock at this goofy behaviour of mine.

"You may sit with this girl on the first bench, Davis." Miss Hitler pointed towards the girl with long brown braided hair. I was awkward and felt super shy. I wasn't bold enough in the matter of girls, but I pretended to be confident.

I moved towards her and she pulled her bag closer to herself, giving me some space to sit. I sat at the left corner of the bench. We were sitting at the far ends of the bench, with two large bags in between us. I guessed she was also nervous to sit with me.

Miss Hitler introduced herself to us and told us the subject that she would be teaching us. I wasn't interested in it, because I wasn't supposed to be sitting in that classroom at all!

As always, we were asked to introduce ourself one by one, by telling our names and other general stuff. It was then, when I came to know that the girl with whom I was sitting was Mayomi and was new to this school.

Miss Hitler told us a few general things about her subject, Chemistry and left the classroom. 

As soon as she left, I took my bag and hastily left the classroom. I sighed and looked at the metal plate, "11th B."

"I knew it." I murmered to myself and went inside the neighbouring classroom, "11th A." I saw Kazuro and Hiroyama sitting on the last bench. I walked towards them and sat between them, like I always would.

"Where were you, Davis?" Kazuro asked me with a frown in his forehead.

"I accidentally went into the other classroom..." I explained them.

"Ok!" Hiroyama almost ignored me and turned back to Kazuro, "Hey, hey!", He giggled and whispered to Kazuro, "You were telling me about Sukoi! Please tell sometimes more." 

I ignored the topic of Sukoi. I rolled my eyes and muttered to myself, "Huh! Another new actress..."

I didn't like them discussing about that topic, because I was always behind in the knowledge on this subject. They would always discuss about new TV shows and Dramas and movies and celebrities stuff. They would go on talking and I would always feel a little ignored.

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7 Reviews

Points: 56
Reviews: 7

Mon Oct 29, 2018 3:48 pm
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varada6467 says...

I really love reading romantic stories!. And this story caught my attention, you are really good at creating real-life scenarios. It was great reading this, and I will surely continue with the other chapters.


Eros says...

Thank you so much for the review! Glad you liked it ...

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1099 Reviews

Points: 51025
Reviews: 1099

Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:55 pm
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Carlito wrote a review...

Hello hello!! I decided to pull this out of the green room for you because I love me some romantic stories!

So I take it this story is a sequel or a part 2 of a story you've already written, correct? If that's the case, great! It's always fun to continue with worlds and characters you already know and have spent some time with.

Now, your reader has ideally already read the first story, but not all readers will have read it. Therefore, you have to pretend, especially at the beginning that no one is familiar with this world yet and you have to set it all up for us the same way you did in the first story.

In the beginning, I'd like a lot more showing. Show me what this school looks like. Show me the main characters feelings as she begins the first day of school. Show me who is around and what the students are like and what the school culture is like. Show me her coming into the school and how she navigates the school. I thought the part of her finding her class and ending up in the wrong class happened way too quickly and was also resolved way too quickly.

I've probably mentioned this in reviews before but every chapter needs a point or a main thing that moves the plot forward. The overall plot arc wouldn't make sense without this scene. What is the main point or the way the plot is going to move forward in this chapter? In opening chapters, it's all about the catalyst that gets the plot started. What is the driving thing that gets the plot started in this chapter? It can't just be a series of fun events, there has to be a driving force. What does your main character want (goal)? What's standing in her way (conflict)? And why does it matter (stakes)?

Let me know if you have any questions or if you'd like feedback about something you didn't mention! :D

Eros says...

Thank you for the review!! I will try to induce more showing in the beginning...

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103 Reviews

Points: 6678
Reviews: 103

Thu Oct 11, 2018 4:34 pm
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KatjaDawn wrote a review...

Hey Eros! Katja here to leave you a quick review. :)

As with all my reviews, feel free to disregard any and all comments or suggestions I make, shoul you find them to be unhelpful. With that being said, onto the review...

Overall Opinion & Summary

Your story takes place with the main character (Davis) returning to school after the holidays, entering 11th grade. Based on the name Davis, I will assume the character is male, but please correct me if I'm wrong. He finds himself forced into the wrong classroom in a flustered attempt to avoid the nicknamed teacher "Mrs. Hitler" due to her strict and seemingly always scolding nature. He is told to sit beside a girl, which makes him shy and nervous. After the teacher leaves the classroom he quickly gathers his things and goes to the correct classroom in which he finds his friends.

I really enjoyed this first chapter. I like that you already chaacterized Davis as being shy and nervous in terms of romantisicm and uninterested in pop culture (as told by his disinterest in his friends conversation about a new up and coming actress, Sukoi). But it also shows us that the friendship between the trio seems to be more-so with Davis as a third wheel, as he feels "a little ignored" when they talk.

I really feel like this is a strong basis for a novel, and I'm more than a little excited to see how this goes. I am a sucker for romance, so I can't wait :D


My only suggestion is on Davis's character. The only thing we learn about Davis is that, well he's named Davis, he's shy in terms of girls and romance, and his friends tend to have interest in things he doesn't really relate on. I had to guess that he is a male, and his appearence in left up to the imagination of the reader. I don't think it's a bad thing not to spoil too much in one chapter, but it would be nice to see a few more hints about Davis's character.

I really don't have any other suggestions. I'm really excited to see where you take this and to hopefully see Davis grow as a character and see how this romance novel will unfold. :D

Keep Writing,


Eros says...

Yeah! It is all correct... Yes, yes! That's what I want to learn... Building and developing a character. I will try my bessst to do this. Thanks for mentioning the suggestion about appearance. I'll add it in the next chapter. I am writing it right now xD and will try to publish or before I go to sleep... I loved your review ..<3

KatjaDawn says...

You're doing awesome! Please feel free to tag me when you publish it :D

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6 Reviews

Points: 251
Reviews: 6

Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:00 pm
FCD says...

If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
— Anatole France