Young Writers Society

Love the phrase "flying kiss or punch, they're not going to care" - it's the type of line you have to read twice, because it's unexpected and contradictory. I'm not familiar with this game, but it seems like an exciting one. The poem is exciting to read through with the constant action.

I think it could be helped with a bit more of a consistent speaker - rather than all of these events unfolding in an almost unrelated way. If there was a consistent narrative or speaker it'd help readers relate to the poem. That being said you have some nice pieces of imagery, and the action makes the poem an exciting one to read as I said earlier.

You might capitalize "i" in the last stanza as you capitalize it elsewhere. And then I'd also take out the ellipses (...) because it actually takes away the drama and slows down the drama of the piece as it seems like the narrator is trailing off their words at an important point in the poem.

Overall, I'd love to see this with even more narrative development, but as is, you make an intriguing poem that makes me curious about this game that it describes!

Nice job Eros! Never stop writing poetry!

~alliyah

who knew how deep pubg was

wow Eros, this is a nice piece. i loved it. funny tittle though

Hii eros, how are you doing?? I hope you are fine and enjoying your time...

I like the title of the poem....btw Do you play the game too??. I know many who are gone crazy for this game...

Your poem is very nice and well written like always..i enjoyed it. The last para was good, i mean the whole poem is good but i like the last para.... Have a good time...