Shadows...

by Eros

Published November 8, 2018

In My stuff

The red ball of fire,

Melted into the purple horizon,

And emerged from the skyline,

Somewhere overseas, on the other side.

--

The lights went off in the blink of an eye,

I searched for the candles kept in the shelf,

Guided by the brightness of torch,

Of my phone's dark reflecting screen.

--

I shivered with cold,

The snowflakes floated down,

And settled slowly on the heap of ice,

On soil sprinkled with the toppings of snow.

--

The flame was quivering in front of me,

The whole room was covered with shadows,

Small and big, tall and short,

Of artistic shapes draped in black.

--

The harmless shadows

Of the objects so sharp;

The blunt shadow of the knife so pointed,

Created on the wall contradicting its traits.

--

The silent shadow of the noisy radio,

Doesn't see the filthiness of the broken radio;

Casted on the wall is the shadow,

Irrespective of the object being new or old.

--

Blind to dirt, dust and negativity,

The shadow like a clay is fictile;

The projected shadow easily adjusts itself,

With varying angles and directions of light.

--

Can I be like the shadow?

Adjusting myself in relation to those,

Varying angles of gloom and bloom in life,

Silent and blind to the flaws of people.

--

Can I be like the shadow?

Sometimes growing taller,

Boosting my self confidence,

Overcoming my inner fear.

--

Can I be like the shadow?

Sometimes growing shorter, 

Curbing my arrogance and pride,

Not letting it to conquer myself.

-

A/N : *Phew. It was a difficult topic... Required a lots of hard work to write something on it. Perhaps you might feel as if the word shadow is repeated toooo many times, but I felt the need to use that word again and again. If you have any suggestions to replace the word, please do suggest... Thanks for reading the poem! 

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Wolfy931 Review
Wolfy931 wrote a review Review · Nov 12, 2018

This is great but you could use other words other than shadow. Maybe like cover or shade, there are plenty others. I feel like a few words are a little necessary but i get the feeling you were trying to convey. I really like the chemistry and flow of your poem it is an overall artistic piece, and it was really a pleasure to read. Thank you for writing, keep making amazing pieces like this one. The errors I saw may not really change the flow of you piece but I feel it would put more creativity into the structure of the piece. Thank you for publishing this astounding work.

Eros replied · Nov 13, 2018

thank you for the review, wolfy!!

User avatar
CardDragon
Comment
CardDragon commented Comment · Nov 10, 2018

If you are looking for better things to use instead darkness of a shadow; use alternate words.
Or phrases or even sentences that describe the shadow or the instance of the shadow and how it conveys darkness, fear or some other substance.

Eros replied · Nov 10, 2018

Yeah, that's a good idea... Thank you so much for the commenting! I will definitely add this thing and edit it a little more bit ... D

User avatar
FireSpyGirl
Review
FireSpyGirl wrote a review Review · Nov 8, 2018

This is an amazing poem! I loved every word, verse, and sentence. :D. A few of the sentences to me had a few extra words, but that may just be me.

This last sentence: "Not letting it to conquer myself."

I would just get rid of the word "To."

It's a little awkward and doesn't fit in with the rest of the sentence.

I'm sorry that I don't have much else to say and I'm sorry that this isn't a great review!

Eros replied · Nov 9, 2018

Thank you so much, Firerose for reading the poem and writing such a sweet review for the poem ... Your words encourage me to write more and your words mean a lot to me ... %uD83D%uDE01



"She doesn't even go here!"
— Damian Leigh