I am sorry, my darling,
for loving you with all my heart;
Knowing you can never be mine,
I still kept holding you back.
--
I am sorry, my beloved,
for tripping over your beauty;
Crying and begging for your presence,
I dawdled, knowing you hate it the most.
--
I said I loved your smile, my sweetheart,
it is like the crescent moon, so slender,
please smile with a little more splendour;
But now I ought to take it seriously.
--
I will move from darkness to sunlight,
and against these obstinate feelings,
that refuse to get out of my heart,
I will fight with all my might.
--
In this journey of travelling,
from childishness towards maturity,
the true success will only be accomplished,
when I sacrifice my smile for yours.
--
You asked me to forget about you,
I'd have done it, inamorato,
only if that was easy enough,
after you gave me so much to remember.
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139,835 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
Hey Eros! This is Weirdo, here with a review.
I think this poem is amazing, and it has a good flow to it. This poem is good enough on it's own, but I think if you wrote the same topic, but by comparing it to something that would seem a bit irrelevant at first, but will later show how it's relevant, it would be better. This is just a suggestion (you can ignore this completely).
Overall, good poem, and I hope to read more from you in the future.
-Weirdo
Thank you so much!!
Loved it Eros.
Each line and each stanza had it's own essence, it's own story to tell. The use of words, imagery, simile, etc, just makes the poem so real and so relatable to any individual's real scenario.
The narration of the whole scenario is done brilliantly. I loved the flow too, as it starts from an apology and ends in a sacrifice.
Wonderful
Keep writing and keep flourishing.
Thank you.
Thank you so much!! I am glad you liked it ...
This is quite beautiful if I may say. I can tell that you have had experience in poetry for a while. I like how you used "inamorato", it made it sound more romantic. This is honestly one of the best writings I have read on here.
Please keep it up!
Sincerely, Writing Admirer
Thank you so much, dear @slurringsugars !
I am glad you liked it ...
Of course! You are very welcome.
Yes ...I have had experience in writing poetries ...in fact I have written more poetries than other stuffs...
Heya, my friend!
This is another beautiful poem. The lines of the narrator were poetic, well,l that's what makes the narrator an admirer. A clever choice for the title!
The lines weren't corny anywhere. It's difficult to write when we describe a person or a thing without exaggerating. You have done it beautifully and naturally. It was authentic.
It's brilliant of you that you stated the obstacle first and then continued to describe the beauty of the person the narrator was in love with. It intrigues the readers and holds a staunch grip on the theme of the poem. And Yours very well did!
Wow! This line
Dictions were perfect!
Here comes the courage! I just admire the tone of the poem.
You have set a unique pace for this poem. Gradually it does wonders. First you started like a lament and then you described the person which was romantic and now it's adventurous. To sum it up your poem is a kaleidoscope. One could admire it in multiple ways.
Aww! This one is my favo:
This was so touching and so BRILLIANT! That nail to the head, just expecting for one. Then boom you give one.
inamorato, Excellent word choice. Vocabs are tremendous.
Wow! Amazing that you returned to the starting label of the poem.
Enjoyed the read! Thanks for sharing this brilliant one.
Keep up the awesomeness @Eros!
Kind regards,
SREE.
Thank you so much @Sree !! Loved the review <3 glad you really liked it! Thanks for leaving the like!!
Most welcome
Keep up the writing buddy! <3
It's been a pleasure reading your works.
Yeahhhh I will!!