Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
RAY OPTICS AND MY LOVE
My heart is a prism, your smile is the white light.It enters my heart and disperses into a band of 7 colours in my life.
If you are an object and i am a mirror, whenever you are between F & C, your image is formed beyond C.
SOUND WAVE AND MY LOVE
Pigeons can hear infrasonic sound. I wish you were a pigeon.My heart emits an infrasonic sound wave message when you come near me.
CURRENT ELECTRICITY AND MY LOVE
You are current and I am a galvanometer.Whenever you come i get deflected from my zero (balanced) state.
You are an EMF(Electromotive Force) and I am Current. A force in you pulls me like an emf.
MAGNETIC FIELD AND MY LOVE
Your eyes are magnet.I am iron filling. The moment you are near me I get attreacted towards you.
CIRCULAR MOTOIN AND MY LOVE
Whenever friction between your image and my heart and mind is less I just skid away.
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hello there Eros! I have come to review your work, as promised =) Sorry that I am not a very good reviewer though, I am more of an inspirational type reviewer xD
Reviewing -
First off let me just say your poem/story was really well written. It was cool and unique and flowed quite well. Personally I think that it doesn't really qualify as a poem, but it makes a very good poem/short story. You did a good job of explaining love, and it was nice to see something unique. <3
There were a couple grammatical mistakes, you wrote this line - "Your eyes are magnet.I am iron filling. The moment you are near me I get attreacted towards you."
Lots of grammar mistakes in that one xD This sentence should be like this - "Your eyes are a magnet. I am iron filling. The moment you are near me you get attracted towards you."
You could also say "I am made of iron fillinf" *just a suggestion =)
That's all I have for know. Great poem, well done, well said and well written! Look forward to reviewing more of your stuff!
~Selina
Heya!
Augustus here for the review.
Well, its an interesting piece of work. I have read many poems with different kinds of comparisons but this piece was kinda unique. I am a science student by myself so, I could understand this very well.
My only advice is that you should consider revising and editing. It contain some silly spelling mistakes and stuff like:
* I am quite confused about the ending of this sentence. Maybe the word "us" shouldn't be there. Or I am unable to understand what it wants to convey.
* The word 7 must be in letters. (Seven)
*attracted
*You should capitalize the letter "I".
*And you should leave one space before starting a new sentence after the full stop.
Other then these few typos, I found this piece of work pretty cool. Although, I am quite confused about the category which could be assigned to this.
I would love to read more of your work
Keep writing.
Goodbye and Goodluck.
~Augustus
Oh! I will take care of these things now. But thanks for you corrected my mistakes. I have learned them and I will be careful next time.
Hey, Sounds of Silence here!
I gotta say, even if I'm not really into romantic stuff, there was definitely something charming about this. I would probably get the humor more if I was really into science and stuff. But! I do appreciate it nonetheless. Heck, I don't even know if it was meant to be humorous, but it came off that way to me.
Either way, it's such great imagery and emotion!
You did a nice job.
Thank you SoundsOfSilence!!!
I liked this! haven't the slightest clue when it comes to poetry but it was different, and I really like different! I haven't really seen anyone compare love in such a way, so this was refreshing. Though I would recommend a once over for errors I think this is definitely romantic! Awesome job
Thank you sector 72!!!!!!
I am happy that you appreciate my work.
No worries, you did great!
Hi eros!
I would suggest editing a few things. First thing put the I in capslocks, I had problems with that too, so don't worry.
Remember to put spaces between some things to make it less confusing. For the rest, I loved it. It was different and sciency. Maybe I didn't understand everything, sorry, but i did think it was romantic.
Best of luck.
-Lau.
I was very happy to read your review, dear Lau2001.The language was indeed difficult to understand but I think I have conveyed what I wanted