Young Writers Society

Hello there sister! (Why am i addressing everyone as sister these days!!) O.O
~Because they're girls.
~And you love your sisters!

Anyway! Otter here not to read and leave but to review (hopefully!) I was actually thinking about this, not exactly this but kind of the same issue myself. All those dating thing i can see everywhere and about love. So, pretty glad i found it!

Now, your work is good. It contains a message and these days, it's a regular topic. Lot like our countless social problems. Youngsters can't differentiate between LOVE and DATING or RELATIONSHIP or whatever you prefer. And, tell you what! Nor can i! XD But, i can't because i don't want to and don't think about it much, got loads other to think about! (Last night i dreamt about T.Rex, currently thinking about that o.o)

Yes, i can definitely understand that you've written this in a hurry, as, there are few errors, if you proofread it, you'll find them yourself! Don't tell me you don't want me to point some out for you?

Like, see here,

To do anything for getting a person

is what is called as love

relationship being pleasure of mating,

stands on its separate place

I'm going to lead into this by saying that this poem is well composed. Your message is clear, and your point is strong. In some places, you made some grammatical errors, but as you said, "you wrote it in a great hustle." I'm sure a quick onceover could clear up the tiny grammatical errors (lack of capital letters, comas, etc.) I also feel as though you could strengthen this poem by intensifying a few phrases; "love is really difficult to achieve," being one of them. I'm not saying that this phrase is poorly chosen, I just feel as though you could make it even stronger.

Critiquing aside, I'd like to say that you've done a nice job in creating a poem whilst being rushed (as you said in the beginning.) I think that by making some quick fixes, and lengthening this piece, it could potentially be even more amazing.

Happy writing
-Emily

Overall I would say its pretty good. I love the theme of the poem and how you characterized love multiple times. The literary devices are also sprinkled throughout the poem, making it have a punch to it. This poem also resonates within my personal life, understanding the meaning of it and all.

Hello there Eros, The Silent Bagpipe here to review some of your work.

First off I will start with the structure of the poem, then move onto what I think of your poem.
- In some places there were some grammatical issues, I suggest you reread it and try to straighten that out. Capital letters where they need to be, commas and periods ect.
- The flowing of your poem was good, yet it lacked something important. I am a firm believer in rhyming. I do not think you need to rhyme ever single word or phrase, but it does need some rhyming throughout the piece. A lot of poetry these days is like a short story, when in reality poetry is kind of more like a song then anything. Something with a familiar sound to it. Your poem wasn't the worst for not rhyming, that I have seen before but it did lack enough to make me realize it.

Now that I am finished with the structure, on to my thoughts on your poem.
- I loved the subject of this, and I must say that when I clicked on this poem I suspected something else but was pleasantly surprised in what I found. I too have always been aggravated with how modern day people confuse a relationship with love. I cant say that I love my best friend (who is a girl) without someone piping in that my comment was lesbian. No it wasn't a lesbian comment, I was just saying that I loved her.
- I also have a problem with telling people out of the family that I love them, because sometimes they take it wrong. I liked how you described the difference between LOVE and a RELATIONSHIP. There is usually love in a relationship but the two aren't the same. I will congratulate you on your poem, and speaking your thoughts. I am happy someone else feels the same way I do =)


One thing that I am confused about with your poem though is why it is rated +16... to me there is nothing wrong or bad with it, no language or anything. The subject isn't even worthy to be rated +16. I suggest if you want to rate it something (you don't really) maybe put it down to +12.

Well that is all I have for you know, thank you for sharing this poem with me and I look forward to reviewing more of your work!

The Silent Bagpipe signing off - Selina =)