Young Writers Society

Hi Eros, Weirdo here with a review for #revmo

Please know that nothing in this review is meant to offend you or your work. This is just my opinion, you and other readers and reviewers could disagree. You also might want to completely ignore this, after all, it's just the opinion of a random person in the middle of somewhere.

Again, a poem that is able to get across a feeling. But I do have few nitpicks you could use to make it better.

So, here they are-

I wish to gaze into your eyes,

Once again, stealthily;

Like I used to long back,

If you even remember.

--

I wish to hold you,

And hug you from behind;

But who am I

To feel the warmth of your love?

I wish to pull you closer,

And sneak into your arms;

But who am I

To cuddle and go to sleep in your arms?

The instinct to run behind happiness,

The instinct to run behind money,

The instinct to be wildly selfish,

Forgetting the one, who values you the most.

The instinct to run behind happiness,

To run behind money,

To be wildly selfish,

Forgetting the one, who values you the most.

But how can I break up with you,

When we were never in a relationship?

For who am I

To care and love you with all my soul?

I wish to gaze into your eyes,

Once again, stealthily;

Like I used to long back,

If you even remember.

Lovely poem keep up the good work.

Hi, Eros!

'Who Am I?' the title describes the speaker's relationship. But, this surprised me in a totally different way. Especially this line

But how can I break up with you,

When we were never in a relationship?

For who am I

I wish I could simply slap you lightly, [loved this]

Hold your collar and express my love,

Stamp my foot on ground in anger,

And break up with you.

Like I used to long back,

If you even remember.
-
And hug you from behind;

But who am I

To feel the warmth of your love?

I miss those days,

When you listened to my whispers;

And now you have shown your true colors,

And that basic instinct of humans.


--
You have become so busy,

Collecting stones, forgetting the gem.

Beat me, hurt me,

I won't utter a word;

But don't ignore me please,

You know I can't stand that.

Hello! I'm here to review.

First of all, the poem is amazing! You captured so well the woefully emotion of one-sided love and its tragedy . The pace of the poem was great, slowly answering the question of the title of this work. From all the stanzas, my absolute favorite is "Beat me, hurt me,/ I won't utter a word;/ But don't ignore me please,/ You know I can't stand that." because you explained perfectly how sometimes we crave just a simple interaction, just a simple "Hello" from the people we love and it's painful how we can see them distant themself from us. For the critique, maybe limit the use of "I" at the start of the sentences but overall, you made a great poem. I always say that the poem's work is to trigger the reader to feel something: happiness, sorrow, anger. It must produce any kind of emotion and you achieved it with your work. Kudos to you and keep writing! You clearly showed the world your breathtaking literary work and I'm thankful for stumbling today with the poem and reading it.

Sincerely, J.G.

This is a beautiful work with many visuals and poetic terms! It is also very relatable for many going through this situation. Very beautiful piece of work right here! Please keep writing works like this!

Hello!! Nice to review you again.
This poem is lovely, absolutely lovely. I admire romance, it's one of my favorite genres, and as it gets written about so much, you made it stand out.
I personally relate to the stanza,

"I will never forgive you,

For burning me so much;

And how can I forget,

How much you ignored me?"

I have felt that pain, and to many others who may have too, we can all feel a little personal touch to this. Great job on that aspect. I see this as someone who is in love with/infatuated with a person that once loved/was infatuated with them, but has long since forgotten them. A one-sided romance now really. I think this happens to a lot of people, and this will connect with so many others. This piece is amazing, keep writing, and let everything out.

Sincerely, Slurringsugars

This is just a work of art. I really liked reading this. I don't normally like poems but I loved this one. So great work!

Hello!! Nice to review you again.
This poem is lovely, absolutely lovely. I admire romance, it's one of my favorite genres, and as it gets written about so much, you made it stand out.
I personally relate to the stanza,

"I will never forgive you,

For burning me so much;

And how can I forget,

How much you ignored me?"

I have felt that pain, and to many others who may have too, we can all feel a little personal touch to this. Great job on that aspect. I see this as someone who is in love with/infatuated with a person that once loved/was infatuated with them, but has long since forgotten them. A one-sided romance now really. I think this happens to a lot of people, and this will connect with so many others. This piece is amazing, keep writing, and let everything out.

Sincerely, Slurringsugars