Love

Hey there, Eros! IronSpark here with a review for you on Review Day except for I'm not on a review team so not really but okay.

This is a really touching piece, and I know you put a lot of work into it. Every one of your words communicates a feeling. I think this will connect well with anyone who's ever been in love. And because your poem is so awesome, I'm just going to be talking about three things today. Ready? Set? Go!

1) Grammar and punctuation.

You have excellent grammar and punctuation, although I want to help you to expand on the grammar and punctuation you already have for clarity's sake. So, to be efficient, I've included an edited-for-traditional-grammar version of the poem below. Please, feel free to ignore me. I'm just a humble reviewer.

"Love is nothing but a bond of trust -
it must be broken not;
It is the friendship of two hearts first,
Who later feels that they are caught
In such a net of thirst
to see and hear and feel each other.

Love is nothing but meeting of two souls -
they meet each other and never lets go;

L stands for Luck,
for it requires luck to get each other;
O stands for Ocean,
for it itself is a big ocean;
V in the love stands for Victory,
for it is a great victory over each others' hearts;
E in the love stands for Everything,
for one person is everything for the other."

I thought your ending was spot on, by the way. Now let's talk about order and content.

2) Order and content.

First of all, I love this acrostic at the end. I think it's a great idea and really adds your own voice to the poem. But the /transition/ to the acrostic is a bit awkward. That's why I suggest you move the acrostic to the beginning of the poem, introducing that and moving onto the specific imagery and ideas afterwards. I think that would give you room to expand on your ideas as much as possible--I know you have some great ones.

On that note, one last thing.

3) Rhyme!

So, as I've said to many other poets, there's no reason for you to use rhyme here. Yes, it can be a poetic choice, but that poetic choice should be driven by reason. You're a great writer, and you have a limitless vocabulary, and by confining yourself to a rhyme scheme, you're effectively narrowing that vocabulary to less expressive words. This makes it harder to connect to your audience and often clutters up your point with unnecessary words. You're a great writer--keep on posting and don't forget to be awesome!

IronSpark

Hi, it is me, fanta.
I love this poem here. It tells about love. I find it so sweet, the poem. Everything just makes sense. Everything. It was nice and smooth, and I did not see any errors, only that you forgot to add an "r" in "other" at the end. I love the part where you said what the V was for. That was so beautiful. Everything about the poem is so touching.
Good luck and keep writing!!!
Very truly yours,
fanta

Wow, great poem! I love the way you strung the words together so beautifully; great job! I look forward to reading more of your writing

Hi!

I really enjoyed reading this poem and I thought I'd let you know just how much I liked it and why!

I like the simplicity of this. I like that it sounds as though you're just stating facts even though they are really more like opinions but worded very cleverly. I think you've done a fantastic job of describing all these emotions and thoughts that are actually notoriously difficult to articulate. I think that's why there are so many poems/stories/songs about love, it's such a bizarre and complex thing that there is no end to the angles you could take when trying to explain or describe it. But that's why I like this poem, you've taken some really important points and stated them all in a straightforward and beautiful way.

I particularly liked the lines,

"Who later feels that they are caught

In such a net of thirst,

To see and hear and feel each other."

I love the way you've applied the word thirst instead of the cliche desire or longing etc. It works brilliantly and I personally think this is a great way of describing that feeling. A desire is just that, something you want. Thirst however, is something completely different. Thirst is a necessity, water is essential to life.

Overall, a really good job! I look forward to reading more of your work so please keep writing!

Faithless

I loved that this poem is short and yet it made sense. True that Love should start with friendship.

Friendship is an important foundation in love, because if all else fails, and the fire is not burning anymore, sometimes it is only the friendship remains.

It is also amazing when two friends became lovers, it's like with all the years that they've been friends, the seed had bear it's fruit, and it is love.

Thanks! and keep on writing!

I loved it! I think that it is very true. I like that it is short and simple. I love the very beginning when you say "Love is nothing but a bond of trust." I also liked the third line "It is the friendship of two hearts first"

Notes:
You could make it one or two lines longer.
Try to add better punctuation.

Questions:
Did you wright this about somebody you like?
Why did you capitalized some of the first words in the lines and not others?

Keep writing!

Hi Eros, Nunya here for review time! I love your poem and I think you could get some more people to take a look at it if you put in some more work. So let's get down to business.
First off You didn't capitalize the first word of ever stanza which is standard English. Second a poem needs a good flow and if you don't have that you cant place it in the poem section. Third you put it in the romantic section so add a little more romantic feel to this and make it a little longer. Fourth it's a big fragment. But you've got a good start here keep writing and don't get discouraged!

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome ! Welcome to YWS.

Kat here to reviewww~

So, this a cute sweet little poem you have here , very moving yet still simplistic. The second line however just seems strained , why not just write it as "It must not be broken" ? Grammer wise ....you capitalized some of the first words in the lines and not others . It's not a BIG deal but you typically pick one or the other unless it's multiple sentences.Some other things too but they seemed intentional so I'll leave that at that. I really loved the second line, the truest loves start out as a deep friendship between two people and their hearts and I am glad you included that

Nice job, stick around :3

~Kat