Young Writers Society

Hey Eros,

this poem felt like a collection of saying that didn't quite get strung together into one piece. I think adding some of the emotional elements of this realationship and finding a way to connect all these complaints together would add to the poem's effect.

Also I'd recommend ditching the first line The ancient greek orthodox Fathers of Christianity use the term "icons are the windows to the heavens" and the eyes being the windows to the soul thing has probablly been used just as long. There's nothing inherently wrong with "used language" -> but you do have to add your own twist to make it meaningful or interesting.

Some of your other lines were more unique anyways - > like I love the attitude you have in the rest of stanza one. Funnel into those feelings, dig into the specificity of what this speaker dislikes about the realationship.

The second stanza felt like a whole different person - > and I had trouble connecting the two. Though I like the image you've got in the final line, I think you could do a bit more with it to capitalize on the metaphor.

Good luck, and keep writing your poetry!

~alliyah

Happy Review Day!

Hey Eros!

So, this is a very cute poem! I enjoyed reading it. I like how lighthearted and positive it is. It had a simple, easy-to-follow flow. My only technicality nitpick would be the comma in the second line of the second stanza. It's unnecessary so I recommend you remove it, as it causes an unnecessary pause when the reader is reading the poem in their head.

Besides that, I have to say that your poem did leave me a bit underwhelmed. This is just my opinion, and you don't need to change anything if you don't want to. If this poem is the way you want it to be, then keep it that way! But for me, personally, I was expecting a bit more, especially since I read the title of the poem before reading the poem itself. I expected a very personal and very emotional poem, and while your poem does have some positivity in it, it is not as emotional as I anticipated.

So, your poem just left me a bit underwhelmed, as I was expecting something with more emotion, and this was more... vague? Like it was sweet, don't get me wrong! But I feel that it could've had a bit more? It was definitely positive and a feel-good "be yourself!" If you like it the way it is, then that's okay, but my suggestion is for you to rewrite or add stanzas to this poem that have more emotion to them. How do you, personally, relate to the theme? I want to know more about that. But on the other hand, it is a nice easy-breezy poem so if you want to keep it that way, then that's okay too!

Anyways, again, it was a lovely poem. I hope this helps. xx

heya, Eros. Casanova stopping by the green room to give you a review.

Anyway, I'll divulge each stanza at a time and then do an overall. To the review.

Your eyes are the window to your soul,

Disclosing if you really mean that texted "Lol";

Don't try to act smart, you know you can't lie,

Like a cheerful bird in the sky, you too wanna fly.

There's an end to everything,

Don't let feelings, to your heart cling;

Learn to let go of things you once loved,

You'll see beauty in even simple lines curved