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Young Writers Society

The Killing Conscious

by Chevy

I wrestle with my conscious,
Something doesn't seem right.
I feel like something's gone wrong,
Somewhere some how.

I look over at the clock,
It's two in the morning,
My heart's beating fast,
I can't even sleep.

Something's gone wrong,
I can't figure it out.
Someone must be dying,
Drowning in the sea.

I close my eyes shut,
They re-open quickly,
Conscious is killing me,
Something's gone wrong.

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42 Reviews

Points: 671
Reviews: 42

Tue Aug 27, 2013 7:30 pm
LoveIsInTheAir wrote a review...

This poem was wonderful! You clearly have deep passion for writing! I also love poems so I can relate and analyze the way you felt while conducting this poem. I also am in love with the suspicion. It is very difficult to attract readers with deep poetry that may be hard to correspond, but you clearly know what you are doing. I can see a picture with each little word in this poem: which is also a hard thing for an author to accomplish. The title is what really got me going. I was really drawn by the line "I wrestle with my conscious". Though the line consists of merely five words, the amount of meanings are endless. So it is very easy for the reader to connect with your feelings: which is a tough task. You are a brilliant writer and you seem to have experience with poetry. Don't ever stop writing because I am in love with the passion in this piece!

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915 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 915

Mon Jan 03, 2005 5:45 am
Incandescence says...

I'm not a fan of this--at all. There are no images here. I do, however, like the bit after the line break.

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Points: 890
Reviews: 4

Fri Dec 17, 2004 1:38 am
rayannes life says...

very nice i liked that but not the "I close my eyes shut, They re-open quickly" part, even though it is small.
i like it overall though

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321 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 321

Mon Dec 13, 2004 3:22 am
Liz says...

hey, nice. you really conveyed the mysterious feeling and that's what made the poem good. i liked your short stanzas and the way you wrote in present tense - it intensified the concept. well done.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
— Thomas Edison