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Another Chevy Disaster

by Chevy


My long black curls were cut off long ago making me uglier than I already was
I ditched the harp for a guitar that I still can’t play
And my deep voice gets deeper and my unwanted southern twang grows.
I am a southerner by accident and when asked
What I want,
All I ever asked is for the people who hate me—to love me.
All I ever ask for is to be someone that I’ll never be

Is that too much to ask?


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Points: 890
Reviews: 2

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Sat Apr 30, 2005 6:11 pm
Spender wrote a review...



Although i have yet to read any of your other poetry, it seems potential to be a lovely one.

"My long black curls were cut off long ago making me uglier than I already was
I ditched the harp for a guitar that I still can’t play "
So you think really low of yourself and cant play the guitar

"And my deep voice gets deeper and my unwanted southern twang grows."
Nice line, twangs a gret word...twang...twang...twang...


"I am a southerner by accident and when asked
What I want,"
The poem kinda gets all clumpy, the whole format makes it really hard to understand.

"All I ever asked is for the people who hate me—to love me."
I have the feeling too, i hate it when people hate me!

"All I ever ask for is to be someone that I’ll never be"
Yeah, think very low of yourself.

"Is that too much to ask?"
I find when you ask too much you get too little of an answer... so it's really your call on that one.

Overall i think if you fixed it up, took a little time, it could be awesomely awesome




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78 Reviews

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Wed Apr 13, 2005 11:25 pm
Soyala Amaya wrote a review...



Erm...it's not ENTIRELY a disaster...but NOT your best. Didn't bring across any real feeling other than boredom with society and disgust with everything. You have all these long lines, then one horribly short one, then the last two are medium...just...ugh. It makes my head hurt trying to find realy meaning to this. And yea, that last line was just hackneyed, crude, and destroyed any real respect I had for this poem. Sorry.




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323 Reviews

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Wed Apr 13, 2005 9:55 pm
hekategirl wrote a review...



I'm my ohpinion this is better then 'I have lost my ability to write' it wasn't long enough to really unterstand what you were talking about for some reason that was ok. Like, you didn't NEED to know. The 'Is that to much to ask?' at the end was a little cliche and didn't finish the poem very well. But this is an ok poem, not all of your talent is gone!!





Look, a good poem is a poem that exists. Any poem you write is better than the poem you don't.
— WeepingWisteria