I like this, but it leaves a lot of unanswered Questions
You talk a lot about march. and how bad march is but what happened in march, that bothered me becauce it left me unfufiled, and it's important as a writer to leave the reader fuflied.
As far as I can pick up it's about alcohol because you said your words are slurred.
I highly recommend you to give some more detail, but don't overwrite.
Also the last line feels a bit cliched.
But lets get on to the good stuff.
It flows very nicely, you have a real talent in that area.
Your emotions are shown very Rawley and clearly, This concept is a bit hard to understand but you make it showm clearly, that is very important.
The concept is also a great. It can be well written but if the concept sucks than it drags down the work.
It sounds like you have made it effortlessly, and the talent comes naturally to you.
Beside some things this is a great piece, you have a lot of skill
keep writing like you mean it.
Vera
Points: 4532
Reviews: 57
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