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Young Writers Society

It Was You

by Chevy

It's a place I can hardly remember,
But a place I would like to be,
A dream that I once had,
A hope I can't just imagine.
Everything I hate,
Is looking like everything I love,
Pleasure and delight--
Are bleeding through sadness.
A new event takes place--
Discarding the original.
All that is old,
Now converted and transformed.
I take a look around--
Resulting in confusion.
It's like someone has come and replanted;
Making things fresh and new.

I can't help but wonder.
How did all this happen and when?

Then you tap me on my shoulder,
I turned around and then I see,
How could I have not realized,
That all along it was you?

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48 Reviews

Points: 492
Reviews: 48

Wed Oct 16, 2019 2:37 am
Lionhero333 wrote a review...

This poem is such a rollercoaster ride. I feel as though the main character goes through some sort of depression and is in some sort of gray area. Where everything she loves she hates and I guess somehow misses the past but by the end is happy with the Futures they have with another person I feel as though they are optimistic and willing to experience new things. This was well put together. Very well done good job

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7 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 7

Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:42 pm
irishnavygirl says...

I really enjoyed the poem. Sometimes things aren't meant to make sense; especially at two am. However, this was really well thought out and I liked it a lot!!!

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36 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 36

Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:22 pm
Moe_Moe17 says...

this poem is good

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9 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 9

Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:46 pm
Stephixy wrote a review...

In this quote specifically, but all throught I think there are tense errors.

Chevy wrote:
Then you tap me on my shoulder,
I turned around and then I see,

The first line is present tense, the you toss in turned which makes the second line past tense till you say see. You should try to have your verbs agree in the same stanza. Other than that it was a pretty good poem. I thought some of it was very random, but you said you wrote it at 2am so I can see random really.

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84 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 84

Tue Nov 30, 2004 1:38 am
Dreami says...

good for one of those early morning poems.ROFL!I really liked it!Good Job!

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701 Reviews

Points: 10087
Reviews: 701

Mon Nov 29, 2004 8:05 pm
bubblewrapped wrote a review...

Its actually pretty good - especially for a 2am-poem lol (I know what those can be like...[shudders] I wish they all turned out so well hehehe). It reminds me of this sone I really like - I think its called "Deliver Me" or something. I heard it on a TV ad :oops: But anyway my point being that I really like the poem as well. Just one thing, "I turned around and then I see" should be "I turn around and then I see", to keep with the present tense. Otherwise, great job. I like the concept and the sentiment behind this one.

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665 Reviews

Points: 6165
Reviews: 665

Fri Nov 26, 2004 10:19 pm
Chevy says...

i wrote this poem @ some 2am so if it doesnt make a lot of sense,then you'll know why:-)

Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief