NOTE: If you haven't already read it, I would encourage you to read this:
forum/viewtopic.php?t=1377&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=summer+aint+reality
before reading the following poem.
---
second summer of everything
a new job by the ocean
you sell hotdogs to the tourists
while smiling at surfers
your buick looks lonely
in its faded burgundy
surrounded by white jeeps and
million dollar cadillacs
in the beach parking lot
the cage is unlocked and
20 turns to 10.
you can hardly see the sun
that's painted in the west
they quickly whisper in your ear
what no southerner wants to hear
summer is not reality and
huge hotels and cadillacs
aren't worth chasing after.
you're an alabaman
too close to the ocean
and only we know know
the reality of summer
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,353 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Yeah...it's supposed to they're the ones who are supposed to know. Perhaps I should put it in quotations.
But thank you so much for commenting on this.
Hmm...
I like it.
the cage is unlocked and
20 turns to 10.
you can hardly see the sun
that's painted in the west
I love this stanza.
they quickly whisper in your ear
what no southerner wants to hear
I don't like this one so much, maybe because it rhymes and nothing else does. It might be better if you added it to another stanza instead of having it by itself.
and only we know know
the reality of summer
I love this one, great ending. Are there supposed to be two knows? Great either way.
The first poem was beautiful too. Great job!
oh gosh...please...someone...could you please comment on this???