I haven't even been writing poetry for a year, so this is truly my weakest point in writing. I'm a whiz at essays, reports, realistic and historical fiction. So please, keep this in mind.
I was in my hiding place,
In a world where my dignity lie;
Trampled over and forgotten.
Where the hardest part of all,
Was watching it go.
Falling—fading into another world—
I saw it leaving.
Parting me with an arrogance, I will fail to forget.
In a world where my dignity lies;
Where the hardest part of all,
Was watching it go.
In a world where my dignity lies;
trampled over and forgotten;
where the hardest part of all[s],[/s]
was watching it go.
It's nice. I'd change "lie" to "lies", and put a comma after "forgotten" instead of a full stop. I'd also put "I will fail to forget" onto a line of its own.
I loved "fading into another world", and the last line was really good.
It's pretty short, so there's not all that much you can do to it. 
I liked it, and I couldn't really find any thing to critique.
120,193 Literary Works • 649,015 Reviews
Points: 890
Reviews: 188
Donate