NOTE: This is a very old poem. Perhaps, one of the first I ever wrote...
Our dreams are the things
That only we can see
Only in our minds,
Do they play ever so clearly.
Our dreams are the things
That just seem so far away,
We will think about them constantly,
In each our of each day.
Our dreams are the things
That are just so hard to explain,
But you just can't keep them to yourself,
Which makes everyone else complain.
Our dreams are the things
That we think about in the midnight hour,
We hold them closely to our hearts,
And that's because these dreams are ours.
Our dreams are the things,
We can only see it if we imagine
And even though they may not always come true,
We will love them forever, with an unspeakable passion.
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139,347 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
Hello!
VioletFantasy here to give you a review. I LOVE dreams, so this poem is right up my alley. I dream at least once every night and I even used one of my dreams as the basis of a novel I’m writing. Anyway, it’s a great topic!
I really enjoyed the repetition in your poem. You were able to repeat that one line enough times to put emphasis on it without making the poem annoyingly repetitive. That takes a lot of skill! Repetition is a great tool for poets, but it is commonly misused.
I also liked the amount of rhyming you worked into the poem. It wasn’t overpowering, but it was still beautiful. I especially enjoyed the rhyming in this stanza:
The rhyming along with the overall humour of this stanza is what makes it my favorite out of the poem. I am constantly telling my friends and family about my dreams, so I am sure they internally groan whenever I start talking about one. I’m probably quite annoying when it comes to that xD. This stanza is very easy to relate to and is interesting to read.
One critique that I would like to mention has to do with this line:
Is it supposed to be “in each hour of each day”. If so, it’s a little awkward to read. It might help if you rewrote it as “during every hour of each day” or something along those lines. Having “each” appear in the sentence twice makes the sentence jumbled and hard to understand. Of course, you can always leave it as is if you like it like that.
Overall, this was an awesome poem! I only found one mistake in the whole thing. It is flawless otherwise. You are a wonderful writer. Keep it up!
Hello I am Firedancer here to do a review of your
First of might I say that this is a very good topic? I mean I personally really like dreams, both the tangible and non-tangible ones. They are proof to me that the human mind is capable of striving for higher things while also being creative and wild. The way that you thought up this and this is proof that you have imagination.
I liked how you portrayed this. "We will love them forever, with an unspeakable passion." Because it's so true! We will love them forever! Well some of us anyways.
I like how you fit this into your work. "Our dreams are the things
That we think about in the midnight hour,
We hold them closely to our hearts,
And that's because these dreams are ours."
Because dreams happen while we are asleep which is definitely near the midnight hour. And many people definitely are over zealous of their dreams and hold them tight.
I also like that you used We and Our instead of I or mine. It gives a much broader sense and more relatable feel.
How long did this take you? For your first poem it seems pretty well put together. How old were you? If I might say one bad thing it would be that some of the rhymes don't flow as well. That would mainly be due to the syllable count, and that is all.
Overall, a good, solid poem. Keep up the good work and keep writing for sure!
Considering that it was an old poem, although I don't know what age you were when you wrote this, it was a pretty good poem. I think you can do way better now, because youre older, and I think you should go over and improve it.
It was very thorough and told a very deep message. The topic was just simple and clear and you built on what was true in your surroundings. I liked it, and really touched me. Very good.