I wrote this song for Hurricane Katrina and Tsunami Victims. But please, don't feel that you have to critique lightly becaude of that.
Verse One
The water comes up from the ocean
With it's pressure at it's best
Shook the whole world into motion
Innocent souls put to the test
We can talk about it later
But what if later is now
How can our lives get better,
When it's been washed up from the ground?
Chorus
It fell into the raging waters
And it quickly drifted away
But it can't be gone forever
You'll catch up with it someday
(Catch up with it someday)
Verse Two
Head is pushed up to the ceiling
There's no other way but out
The weight of the storm is slowly killing
Drowning hope and breeding doubt
You look up to the sky asking,
Why do I have to be so low?
You fall onto your knees crying,
As the city brushes past below
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mm, some small critques, like needing punctuation at end of lines, and an extra verse would be nice. The main thing that strikes me, or actually doesn't strike me is the chorus. It's a bit unsubstantial. The verses have impact, and you are talking about an impacting event. Make the chorus impacting,.