In the depths of the darkest jungle,
When the night is black as ink,
Prowling a forest as silent as death,
Beware the Shadow Stalker.
With blazing eyes of burning crimson,
And claws of the sharpest silver,
Hidden among the tangled trees,
Beware the Shadow Stalker.
He lurks in twisted shadows,
He haunts the blackest of nights,
Born from the depths of the forest,
Beware the Shadow stalker.
Leaping from branch to branch,
Watching your every move,
Waiting for the time to pounce,
Beware the Shadow stalker.
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
I really, really enjoyed this. I'm interested to learn more about the ephemeral Shadow Stalker!
Very well done again! Wow, this is so amazing. It almost feels rhythmic or musical, you know? Poems with a certain kind of consistency like this one are one of my favorites. Yet again, you have wowed me with your description and flow. How do you come up with your ideas? Where do you get them from?
Magnificent and beautiful, but yet very intense. Very good, very well. Amazing.
Thank you for all the review. I really appreciate. I don't really know where I get my ideas from, I guess maybe I get them from the novel I am writing, but other than that I don't really know. Thanks again.
P.S I meant this to be a song. I even wrote some not so good music to go with it on the piano.
Hey Felistia,
Myjaspercat here to give you a reveiw like you requested.
Ok, first thing, Happy Review Day. I think this is going to be a short reveiw since I actually really like your piece. Of course, like always I have some words of wisdom (I'm not that wise, be cautious).
1.) I am so happy you broke your poem into stanzas instead of just one big chunck of writing, but you should fix the formatting with the whole space in between each line. I haven't read any of the reviews below mine so if I repeat this (or anything really) sorry, but to fix this whole formatting issue just hit shift-enter instead of enter.
2.) I personally dislike the double use of the word 'beware' at the end of your stanzas. The whole second beware thing just takes away from the mood for me, and it also makes reading it a little wierd. Really you could just do without.
3.)
Ok so the two pieces of text I pulled are just too similar. I get that the night is really black, why not show us instead of rephrasing it a different way. Just a thought.
That looks to be about it. I hope I helped some (and didn't repeat what others have said too much). Have questions fell free to ask. Good luck and continue writing.
Hi felistia!
This is a really 'dark' poem, and I like how you present it with the repeating line at the end. I only have one suggestion...
This is the line you repeat. This is just my personal preference as a reader, but I think it would flow better if the last line was the shortest (or at least, close to it). Maybe if you just write 'beware' once, it would work.
Other than that, this is great!
~Snazzy
Stay awesome!
Hi Felistia,
Your poem has a very good form and was very engaging. The repitition of "Beware, beware the Shadow stalker" drew me into the poem to discover what is this creature. Does it hunt and kill it's prey? Is it a beast that has been cast out by society for how it appears and seek revenge?
The shortness of the poem I enjoyed as it didn't drag on and allowed speculation after the poem was read.
I do have one point is I felt you could cut out some words in the poem to allow it to have better flow and rhythm. This is just a personal view of mine, it's completely up to you. The words "the" for example I feel interrupt the flow. I tend to read poetry out loud though so that may be why. Even with the "the" it still has a good flow.
I enjoyed the poem and hope to see more of your work.
Hi there!
So, I'm not a poetry writer but that doesn't mean I can't review, right?
Anyway, though this poem is quite short it has enough substance to keep your reader reading. In my personal opinion, I would like to read more but that's just because it's so good. You use lots of metaphors. I think metaphors are great for poems especially when you're trying to explain something without saying specifically that it is black. I like that you wanted everyone to form their own image of the beast.
Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your poems!
Thank you for the review.
Hello felistia, reviewing your poem here (I recognize your username - thanks for reviewing mine!). The first thing I noticed as I read this poem was that it doesn't rhyme, yet it flows really well. I'm not sure what the poem is about, however, which adds a little mystery. And you know, I appreciate mystery, a lot of poems are very blatant in their message. Everything has its place, I believe. I don't really have any criticism except for one little thing, which actually is kind of personal. In the line, "Beware, beware the Shadow stalker," I sort of skip over the word "beware" since it repeats. I'm not sure why, but anyway, this is really good!
thank you for the review. I made it to sound a bit like a song.
I didn't want to explain what was in the poem, because I want readers to get their own image in their heads.