It is indeed beautiful. There's to much description though. I know what you intended but its still to much.
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Lush parakeet green trees stand tall as thin blades of golden sunlight slice through the dense canopy. The sweet scent of newly sprung leaves fills the hot, misty air, floating on the afternoon breeze through clumps of wild fern and young saplings. A carpet of rich walnut browns and moss greens paves the woodlands floor as squirrels chirrup and chatter to one another on their search for amber acorns. The wise trunks of the ancient trees tell of times long ago when the earth was young, their branches gently shaking as a low rumbling is heard overhead from a summer storm drawing near. The strong aroma of fresh wood bursts out from the depths of the forest as the first clear diamond drops of rain fall from the tree tops. A blue macaw's screeching cry echoes over the forest, the wind gently ruffling his navy blue feathers as he searches for shelter from the oncoming storm. The stream twisting through the forest is a mirror of small ripples as the downpour covers the woods in a veil of water droplets. On its course through the winding trees the stream cascades down a cliff in a towering waterfall of crystal clear water. It pours down onto the flood plains below, away from the forest's emeralds and diamonds.
It is indeed beautiful. There's to much description though. I know what you intended but its still to much.
Hey, great work, I love how you write, it flows really well. A few things that didn't flow as well:
"as squirrels chirrup and chatter to one another as they look for amber acorns" I think using "as" twice in the sentence was fine, but it might flow better if you change it to "on their search for."
"when the earth was young and low rumbling can" When i read this my mind thought you implying that the earth used to be young and low, causing me to reread it.
"cry echoes over the forest. The wind gently" This was a little jarring, you could use a comma to connect this.
"on coming" is one word
"vail" is veil
"down pour" is one word
"water fall" is one word
And the last sentence seemed a little long to me.
My favorite parts were "A carpet of rich walnut browns and moss greens paves the woodlands floor" and "The strong aroma of fresh wood bursts out from the depths of the forest as the first clear diamond drops of rain fall from the tree tops"
Great job, keep writing!
This was exceptional and had amazing grammar and spelling. I was wondering if it would be possible if you could edit my piece the modern Frankenstein. It would help me out tremendously. I would also edit a piece for you as well if you would like.
when say relaxing you mean relaxing wow. I felt it all saw it all "golden sunlight slicing through the dense canopy." wow nice wording I see these awesome colors swirling to make a amazing picture I have never seen this. the describing of the summer storm I literally turned on my nature sound track and read this it was awesome for one. from the forest's emeralds and diamonds to hot, misty, air is calming I am saving this so I can read when I need to. do more of these because obviously your really good at it.
Points: 524
Reviews: 54
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