A canvas of the purest black,
Speckled with gleaming stars.
A streak of glittering violet,
And a dab of cosmos cobalt.
Hints of emerald and autumn orange,
Shimmer in the swirling colors,
Each a whirling galaxy covered in stars.
As I stare out at this painting of wonders,
I ask myself, ‘how could this have happened by accident?’
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140,426 Literary Works • 673,184 Reviews
I opened this poem, because the dragon-shaped poem you wrote was amazing, and I was interested in seeing this one. I love the description in this. Description and imagery seem to be something you’re great at. The end of this poem is a great closing to this, as it sets the end mood of the poem perfectly. This is amazing, good work!
I loved this! It was very unique and had great detail. It was short but very powerful. The stars and the galaxy is very amazing and you showed that through detail. The picture is great along with layout of the words. I like how you ended this with a question of, 'how could this have happened by accident?' With the detail, I could see more. Like when you said, "purest black...autumn orange...etc. The words didn't just make me see black and orange but a more detailed version of it. Great job. Keep writing and I can't wait to see more from you!
Hey, felistia
First Impressions: I like this little piece. It's interesting, and though not overly original, it is unique.
Positives:
I like the colors and how you've melded them altogether here. Cosmos cobalt is good. It makes me feel the rainbow, rather than just see it.
Negatives:
You have such a nice little piece of work here, but then you just state "stars." It stunts the growth of the images in my ind a little. It's just really blunt, and clunky, especially when it's surrounded by all these other building adjectives.
The ending is not too good, in my opinion, because it doesn't stay true to the rest of the style. You stray into an "I'm an American, speaking English," mode with that last line, which is true, but I feel that it could be a little more epic, to end on a better note.
Overall: Not bad.
I give it: