I soar over sunlit oceans and seas,
My white wings cooled by the breeze,
As I stare at the rippling blue waters below.
Gliding effortlessly for many long miles across the sea,
Until I reach my home, a bunch of small green isles,
The northern Farne Islands, the place I nest and breed.
For many years Arctic Terns have lived here,
With the shear cliffs we can live without fear,
Until winter returns and we have to turn south.
Back to the Antarctic’s white ice and snow,
We travel back and forth, year after year,
With only the pearl white stars to guide us.
The silver moon our only light,
As we fly through the cold night,
And the dark ocean roaring below us.
But we aren’t afraid for we know that,
So long as the wind is beneath our wings,
And a song in our hearts, we will survive.
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
Hey, I'm here for a review!
I really, really, really liked this! I think the reason I liked it so much is because of the perspective you used. The bird (I think it was a bird, sorry if I'm wrong,) being the narrator really let the readers feel like the poem was more personal, because the bird was telling us exactly what was happening from first perspective. It also brought insight that would have been hard to add in the poem if it was written in third person.
The one thing I would point out is, like Tigerlilly37 said, to keep your capitalization consistent. For example, since you capitalized the first word in each paragraph, maybe you should capitalize the "the" in the fifth paragraph.
But overall I really liked this! I'd love to read more of your work!
Happy Writing!
<3
Hello! Tigerlilly here to review on this wonderful review day!
I would first like to say that this is absolutely beautiful! I can just imagine a seagull flying over the ocean. It's a very relaxing image, really. I also like the idea that the wind supports the bird while it perseveres and flies across the sea. I find it a bit interesting I came across this as I was just drawing a picture inspired by birds. Weird, huh? Well, enough rambling from me! Time to get down to the nitpicks!
One thing I noticed was you didn't pick a specific way of capitalizing. You seemed to be capitalizing the beginning of each verse, but in several spots you must have forgotten. I'm sure if you look back through you'll see what I mean.
Other than that one thing, I don't think I would change anything in this poem. It's really brilliant, and I'd love to hear more from you in the future. Stay awesome, and keep writing.