A tawny coat covered in black spots.
The
flicker of a cat's long tail,
As
she stalks through the tree tops.
Blending
in the shadows of the ancient trees,
She slips unnoticed overhead,
Prowling
the jungle’s canopies with ease.
Watching
for birds or a bat,
Is
the ghost of the jungle,
The
little margay cat.
A
small unrecognized feline,
Her forest growing smaller,
Her species in steady decline.
Threatened
by falling trees and roaring fire,
The
margay, the sweet forest cat is scarce,
Thanks
to mans greedy desire.
Save her species from becoming rarer,
Stop
the destruction of their home,
Before
they’re gone forever.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
Hey felistia! I'm interrupting my YWS hiatus for today to do some reviewing. I'm a bit rusty, so I apologise for any dumb mistakes.
The middle line doesn't flow as nicely with the rest of the poem. I read it out loud and it seems like there are too many words there. What I recommend is replacing silent and unnoticed with either silently or unnoticed.
At the end of the second line of the fifth stanza, you end it with rare. You do the same for the first line of the next stanza. This feels a bit repetitive. Because the later word falls in with the rhyme scheme, it would probably be best to change the first one. Try seeing if the word scarce would work.
The last thing I would like to mention is how much I love your description. You weave it well with a really good message, giving us readers a really good image to work with. You really act like the margay (I didn't misread something and that's the cat you're writing about, right?) is right there, rather than just a simple picture. You treat it like it's a real thing doing something rather than just an object to look at. That's what I love about the first stanzas.
I'm done. Keep writing, Felistia!
~Holographic Ladybug
.P.S. When I first saw the caption for your picture there, I thought it said 'I'm coming for you'. Scared me for a moment.
thanks for the review. I've fixed the mistakes. sorry I scared you.
Nah, it's fine.
And I'm glad I could help.
I hope loads of people get to read this poem, because it offers a new perspective on endangered animals. I think that it's quite hard to appreciate the beauty of an animal's life when people are screaming at you trying to get you to save something you know barely anything about. I think this would be really great for people to read, because it tells you about the cat in a very graceful, wonderful manner. By reading this, people will understand what amazing things they are losing when they do not think about the animals. I think the actual style of the poem is very good too, and makes the content look even better.
Thank you so much for writing this, because I loved it.
(And the picture is super cute too)
thanks for the review.
Hello, fellistia!!
This is Eros here to write a review to this beautiful piece of poetry.
It was really awesome. I liked the theme of the poem. The margay cats are becoming extinct. I am extremely happy to read this poem for mrgay cats. The picture at the end is sooooo cute!!!
I loved it. It increased the grace of already sweet poem.
I liked the words which you used to secribe everything.
The theme is realistic and is based on encouraging humans to stop the cruel deeds which is leading to the exinction of these cats which are the sweetness of the jungles.
I don't have anything left to say now.
So, I would now end th review with the following lines:
Keep writing...
Never cease...
Because we all love to keep reading such beautiful works like this one!
Have a great day/night/evening!
thanks for the review.
WelC!