E - Everyone

Call of the Wild

A haunting howl echos through the night,
The wolf illuminated in the moon's silver light.

Lifting his head towards the starlit sky,
He utters a long and lonesome cry.

Speaking of the untouched lands in the days of old,
Where there were no ancient stories to be told.

Where Man respected the land,
and toiled with tools in hand.

But those days are far behind us and long gone,
Man has turned astray and has committed wrong.

Shooting us from the safety of your guns,
Destroying our homes and very lives for fun.

Now we have to go and hide,
Traveling from far and wide.

We have take flight,
Fading from your sight.

Waiting for the the day you disappear,
So that we may once again live with out fear.

Comments & reviews · 3
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reikann
Review
reikann wrote a review · Sat Aug 13, 2016 2:32 pm

This work has a clear environmentalist message.
The first two verses are composed of poetic language and the stereotypical image of the wolf. The imagery there is clear in what it depicts and sets the tone for the rest of the work that is never deviated from. I find that clever.
I find the perspective shift at the fifth verse interesting, as it moves from third person to what I assume is the perspective of the wolf himself. I rather like the idea that the rest of the poem is the wolf mourning the pictured 'collapse' of his species' dominance, but am not certain whether or not that was the intent.
The phrase 'no ancient stories' in reference to 'the good old days' - what's up with that? Does it mean that there are no stories from then? That is untrue, as the wolf has a story. Alternatively, it could mean there were no stories back then.
I should like to know why the word 'Man' is capitalized. It appears to be because humans as a species are being referenced?
The simple, rhythmic rhyme scheme matches the simple message of the poem as well as sounding nice. None of the rhymes feel forced. So that's all rather competent, yay!
Minor spelling/grammar quibble in the second to last verse - 'without' rather than 'with out'.
Overall, I find this to be a competently executed environmentalist poem centered around the mascot of the wolf.

User avatar
herbgirl
Review

Hello! herbgirl here for a review!
To start, this is a nice poem, I'm a fan. The way you describe the destruction of man from the view of a prestigious victim was interesting, it's a view I haven't seen on here in a while.
Now, though I liked this poem, I think you may have published it a little too fast, because I noticed a lot of things that I think could be edited to improve your poem. The first thing was the period between stanzas two and three. I think this should be a comma, because otherwise the opening sentence of stanza three doesn't have a subject.
In the next stanza, the syllable count bothered me. It was way lower than in any of the other stanzas! This may not be important, in fact, it really isn't but as I was reading through, I felt it interrupted the flow of the poem. I advise you to go back through and read through the poem, see if you notice the discrepancy among the syllables. If so, try seeing if you can just add a few words into that stanza to increase the syllable count, there's no need to completely rewrite the stanza.
In the next stanza, the rhyme of "gone" and "wrong" is a bit of a stretch. I can see the assonance, but they don't really rhyme. This doesn't necessarily need to be changed, but I think it would help the flow if you did change it. I'm not sure at this point what else you could use, but if you have any ideas that I could help you develop let me know!
In the first line of the sixth stanza, you use an interesting expression. You say, "Shooting us from the safety of your guns". I'm not sure that the weapon should the place where there is safety, which is how this line makes it sound. Maybe change it to, "Shooting us with the safety provided by your guns," because then it sounds more like the guns are providing safety rather than being a place where you can be safe.
In the eighth stanza, you're just missing a word in the first line. It should say "We have to take flight".
In the ninth stanza you say "So that we may once again live without fear." I believe "without" is just one word.
Ok, those are the stanza-by-stanza edits. I do have one more thing to point out, though. You seem to change point of view about half-way through. You start out in third person, describing the wolf as you see him, then you switch to first person, saying that "we" have to take flight. I advise you to pick one point of view and stick with it. Either would work for this poem.
Alright, that's all I have for you! Sorry if that seemed very harsh, it's a very good poem, I just think you wrote it out a little too fast. However, after these edits, I think it will be a fantastic poem.
herbgirl

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Ejay1806
Review

Hey !! Ejay here for a review !!
Seeing that you're pretty experienced , I couldn't really find flaws in your poem . It was a beautiful and nice piece of poetry written with great finesse and poise . Just keep going like this . I got your message really well . It's really nice to know that finally those poor animals have got a voice .
P.S : If possible , review my works too :)
Cheers !!
Ejay



Be happy, my friend; and if you obey me in this one request, remain satisfied that nothing on earth will have the power to interrupt my tranquility.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein