Evening nears and the light is dim across the earth.
The sun is hidden and darkness is upon the land.
Creatures of the night creep and crawl out of hiding,
And hunt, snaring the people of the world.
Shimmering silver stars appear in the blackness,
And the full moon’s gleaming face hangs in the sky.
A beacon of light shines in the darkness,
And the people look to the light and follow.
The creatures of the night slither back to the shadows,
As the growing light strengthens and advances.
Suddenly the golden sun appears on the horizon,
Like a blazing torch in the blackest of nights.
The dark dies and the moon fades into the light .
Warmth and light bathes the land once more,
And the people give praise and rejoice.
ערב סיומו, האור עמום על פני כדור הארץ.
השמש מוסתרת, החושך הוא על האדמה.
יצורי הלילה שרץ ולזחול לצאת ממחבואו.
כוכבים כסף מנצנץ מופיעים החושך,
הפנים של הירח המלא נוצצות נתקע בשמיים.
אלומת אור זוהרת בחשכה,
האנשים נראה לאור ופעל.
יצורי הלילה מתגלש, חזרה לצללים
כמו גידול אור מחזקת, מקדמות.
בקרוב השמש הזהב מופיע באופק,
כמו לפיד הקופחת ב האפלים ביותר של לילות.
את מתה אפל והירח נמוג אל האור.
חום ואור אמבטיות האדמה עוד פעם אחת
האנשים הלל לשמוח.
A\N I translated the poem into Hebrew if you were wondering what the funny letters were.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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This is a very good poem and to me it shows a lot of the things going on in the wild and to me that deserves to be noticed in the future by other people and this poem shows every thing that people need to know and this poem needs to go world wide. Also I like when you added it in a different language for other people to know.
There is one last thing I need to tell you before I go and that is you need to keep writing and keep writing your poems because they are very good. If you are thinking about writing a new poem or a new story I would live to know an love to read it and write a very good but long review for you to read over.
I agree with what the previous person said completely, although without the title, this poem would seem like something out of a sci-fi book. Personally, images of wide spaces and burning stars is what comes to mind when I read this. The great expanse of the universe. That's appropriate, though, because Christians believe that Jesus Christ created the universe. I think you should put some more synonyms in here, perhaps, to spice it up a bit?
Anyways, I liked this piece. ^^ It was thoughtful, with a good metaphor as well as imagery.
Thank you!
~Joelsweet
(Ps- I am by no means a professional poet.)
Um... how does this relate to "The coming of the Messiah and the new Jerusalem."? :O
I suppose the sun could be an allegory for the Messiah but where does the "new" Jerusalem come in?
That aside, though, I liked it. It's short and sweet but still paints a very vivid picture of the night and the dawn that follows.
Couple of things I noticed read a wee bit odd, however:
Since you ended the first verse with an "and X" phrase but you begin the next in the same way. Wouldn't it read better if it were something like:
"Creatures of the night creep and crawl out of hiding,
hunting, staring the people of the world."?
You used "light" here almost back-to-back. Maybe substitute the second with just an "it"?
Finally, did you mean to use "beath" here? That word means "to heat", so using it with warmth seems a bit redundant. I've a feeling you mistyped "bathe", though.
Either way, good poem!