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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
Hi there. KingQueenKnave here, an honest reviewer. I have come to review your poem, a take on the Four Seasons by Vivaldi. Perhaps it's worth mentioning that, to fully read this poem, one must listen to the Four Seasons- maybe not in its entirety- to appreciate it.
I think that this poem is a really good one, and not just because of your unique formatting and use of colours to distinguish stanzas. Each stanza relates to the chosen season, and it flows between seasons almost naturally. Your rhyming scheme and syllable count is also consistent throughout, which changes, but within that change, stability ensures. It creates a really nice, flowing atmosphere that makes you imagine, in detail, the water and the waves.
My only nitpick with this poem was that I thought some of the wordplay was a bit clunky. "A blanket of freezing despair" sounds quite nice, but when sandwiched with others like as "buries all life", or "pummelling the empty trees", it comes off as a bit forced. In fact, I wasn't so much of a big fan of your winter section. I thought it was a little disappointing compared to the rest.
However, it is still a really good poem which deserves the accolades it is getting. Well done.
Another poem about the seasons. I'll be honest, reading this one I actually couldn't instantly tell which season was which- at first I thought the first stanza was meant to be summer, and then all the "anger" in autumn felt a whole lot like summer to me as well. I guess this could be a good thing or a bad thing, good in the sense that it must have been somewhat original, bad in the sense that I don't think it really portrayed the seasons with the emotions typically related with them.
In all, I felt like it was a lot of repetition and lack of originality, but I applaud the nice color background, and some more original ideas, such as a relation between the redness of autumn, and anger. Maybe it's just me, but it sort of felt like something out of Between the Lions, but with less rhyme and more words.
Nice work here, as much as I tend to hate natury poems, this one did bring some originality to the table, and I definitely look forward to reading some more of your work in the future.
Best of luck,
hadj.
Greetings yet again felistia! Holographic Ladybug here for a review of your fantastic poem!
~Nit-Picks~
You forgot to put suns into possessive (sun's).
~Good Bits~
I've seen poems about the four seasons, but you've seemed to written this a bit differently than the others. The thing that makes it stand out is the emotion. I have never seen emotion incorporated into a poem about the four seasons, so I give you a virtual holographic cupcake* for originality.
What I also like about your poem is that you seem to have some sort of narrator to it (i.e. the last line). It's also a pretty cool twist, although not *as* cool as the one I have just mentioned (Please! Nobody can beat that).
Your descriptions, as usual, are spot-on, my personal favorite being the one with the bear. Wildlife can play a very important part of the seasons (well, it's actually the other way around), plus it's a bit of another original twist on your part, so a high-five goes to YOU!
(And another high-five for the background which is super cool, by the way
Well that's it from me. Another awesome poem by you, so thumbs up!
Stay awesome!
~Holographic Ladybug
*Holographic cupcakes are freshly made in four years advance by Bugs of Projected Light Bakery, 735 Streak Avenue, Holographica'. We do not guarantee no holographic mold on our products. We do not guarantee food poisoning resistance. We do not take liability if such things happen. Eat at your own risk. Only able to be eaten by holograms and not the general public.
Thank you for the review. I will be sure to fix the problems.
It is a gorgeous poem and I cant tell you put a lot of though, time, and heart into it. It's wonderful. I feel like even if it weren't in the description I would have known that you based it in the seasons. There were only a couple of errors.
"warm golden happiness coats forest" This sounds a bit unnatural. "The" should probably go in between "coats" and "forest" Otherwise a great line
"Then there are times when I burn will raging anger" I also think you meant to put "with" instead of "will"
And that's all the critiques I have. I wouldn't change the poem at all because it's absolutely gorgeous and very meaningful. Great job you are very talented
It is a gorgeous poem and I cant tell you put a lot of though, time, and heart into it. It's wonderful. I feel like even if it weren't in the description I would have known that you based it in the seasons. There were only a couple of errors.
"warm golden happiness coats forest" This sounds a bit unnatural. "The" should probably go in between "coats" and "forest" Otherwise a great line
"Then there are times when I burn will raging anger" I also think you meant to put "with" instead of "will"
And that's all the critiques I have. I wouldn't change the poem at all because it's absolutely gorgeous and very meaningful. Great job you are very talented.
Now this is art. I knew when you told me what your poem was about that it was going to be awesome. This is better than I imagined! The only thing that made me a little disappointed was how you said winter was sad and yet I am the happiest in winter. Anyway that's just how I feel, I know maybe you don't like winter.