Rain pitter, patters on a carpet of emeralds,
the diamond drops falling from the trees are sweet.
The wet, steamy air smells of newly cut wood.
A black bird's rich melody floats through the canopy.
A babbling brook twists through the jade trees,
laughing and gurgling on its way down the mountain.
I look around and I see the jewels of the forest.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
Hey! This poem is GREAT! The diction throughout the poem keeps up with the theme of the poem and are all very descriptive. The descriptions really help create an image of spring time in my head, which was great for me right now because I miss the warm weather. You appealed to almost all of the senses and really made the reader feel your words, which is a great element of poetry.
This particular quote stands out to me the most because it is packed with detail! It appears to sight by adding description to the bird and the surroundings of the woods as well as to the ears by discussing the sound of the bird. Almost every line in this poem appeals to at least one of the senses. The only possible suggestion I could think of is to simply write more. Maybe add another stanza or two. You could even focus each stanza on it's own sense, maybe make one sight, one hearing, and one touching. That would give a super detailed image to the reader and would make an overall amazing poem. You definitely has skills when it comes to poetry, which is something I wish I had. Great job!thank you for the review. It means a lot.
Hello!
Great job with that! Now on with the review...
I love your description, it's awesome and a good idea when talking about the forest! I really could "see it, smell it and hear it".
I think that last line breaks up the poem, kind of. It went from having a bunch of AMAZING description to "I see the forest." Maybe you could add a bit more description on that last line, or even re-word it.
Other than that, this was fantastic! You have a thing for description, and I like it! Great job, and keep writing!
~Snazzy, Pencil, Penicillin, etc.
Stay awesome!
Thank you for the review. the last line was describing the brook and what it sounded like.
Oh, sorry...didn't mean to quote that part.
*goes to edit that right away* 
Could you possible have a look at my Talons of Flame chapters? If you like all my descriptions you will love my Talons of Flame story. I would love it if you could review it.
Sure, I'll try to as soon as I can!
*is totally not procrastinating on YWS instead of history* xDHi Felistia,
Its Navy CDR here to do a review. First of all I loved this poem!! First impression, you literally feel like your in the rain forest! You gave so much detail on where you were. I really enjoyed the poem it was so relaxing. I really liked how compared the rain to clusters of emerald, in the first sentence ["Rain pitter, patters on clusters of emeralds."] I imagine the clearness of the rain drops so you can see straight through them and makes them that emerald green because of the greenery of the forest.
I was a little confused on the part that said... ["A brook twists through the trees, laughing and gurgling"] because im not sure how trees can like gurgle, or laugh or look like they are. I see in your poem you tired to used your five senses to describe the forest instead of just one (usually just sight).
I loved the descriptiveness of how you described the Black Bird's melody. Well all and all it was a great poem, I really enjoyed reading it! Keep up the great work!
thank you. I actually went and listened to a few black bird songs before a wrote this.
I love this poem! I love the descriptions of the forest in jewel terms! Reading this is a lot of fun because I feel for a moment that I've stepped into a fantasy world. The poem is short, but still portrays all that it needs to.
Overall the poem has been very well done and I'm finding it difficult to find anything you can do better. Poetry is difficult to critique because it is such an open genre. I suppose one thing would be to describe the greenness of the forest a little more since it's only described really in the first line. Also "clusters" makes me feel like the green is in only small areas. I like the way clusters of emeralds sounds though, so that shouldn't be removed. Mostly more green description would be good.
Overall I really loved this poem and I look forward to reading more of your writing!
thank you very much.