Lava shoots out of the mountain,
like a great over flowing fountain.
With every thundering boom,
comes another grey plume.
The towering columns of smoke,
will make you rasp and choke.
Roaring pillars of crimson flame,
impossible to extinguish or tame.
In the deep dark, lava caves,
there lies, tons forgotten graves.
Streams of toxic yellow fumes,
seep out of the old dragon tombs.
Glowing sparks and embers fly,
lighting up the blackened sky.
The orange fire crackles louder.
turning grass to grey powder.
A once beautiful green land,
Now turned to ash and sand.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
Hello! Holographic Ladybug here for a review!
Seriously, this is probably one of my favorite poems by you! It's got a super nice flow along with nice description. I'm probably no being specific, but let's dive deeper, shall we?
This is where my attention is really grabbed. I guess that the whole plume thing is kind of interesting. Or maybe its because there's a (somewhat) sudden BOOM. Not sure, but I was hooked by now.
But this is probably the best line of your whole poem. I, for some reason, am imagining huge things that are literally like pillars rising out of the ground in some sort of terrifying rage. Of course, this isn't what you meant for your poem, but it really does bring so many things and imagery to my mind that I start to wonder what other creative thing you'd come up with next.
Things here strata to get a bit darker and deeper. This is good because you're not constantly dwelling on a single idea for too long or stalling for whatever reason. This stanza is seriously powerful, hinting at something maybe.....?
Like the volcano, you show quite a grand impact with your poem. This poem is really powerful
Never stop writing!
~Holographic Ladybug!
Hello!
(I may be wrong, but this is the same volcano that killed Hisster's wife and son, right...? 
) Now, for the review... 
Great imagery in this, I love it! Especially "roaring pillars of crimson flame,".
When I read this, I imagine myself pausing after each description, my voice growing more intense with each one. If I were you, I would add a comma after dark.
Other than that, this is really good! You do a great job with taking feedback and applying it to your works! Great job, and once again fabulous description!
~Snazzy, Pencil, Penicillin, etc.
Stay awesome!
Thank you for getting most of my stuff out the green room and for all the great reviews.
I love that every two lines, they rhyme. I enjoy making and reading poems that rhyme. This is a great work of art, it's like telling a long lost story of a legendary volcano. And I absolutely love the ending. 10/10
thanks
Hello!
. Most people make this mistake and tend to leave it so it is completely up to you.
Stegosaurus here for a review!
I like this poem as it seems the volcano could represent a person, having enough and letting the anger erupt. I enjoyed the imagery you have in here and message throughout this poem; nicely done.
I feel like the format for this poem is a little off (however you could leave it the way you have it). For making it perfect easier to read poem, try backspacing then pressing ctrl + enter to have stanza
You should also have some punctuation. However, this little thread could help you with that: Poetry & Puncatuation
For this stanza, I feel shot out of the mountain since it gives a feeling of the past instead of present. Also over flowing is one word.
Lava shot out of the mountain,
Like a great overflowing fountain.
This stanza seems a bit hard to grasp as so much is happening at once. Like boom the volcano erupts, ash comes up from it, then you are grasping and choking. To me, I feel like you should remove the 'come another ash plume' as the reader could predict that- if they seen a volcano- smoke would come out from it. Another thing 'gasp' and 'choke' seem to mean the same thing so use one of the words ^^ (I think gasp would sound better).
This stanza seems to have some nice imagery as well as feeling but again, use punctuation as it can make the reader stop and recollect their feelings.
There lies tons forgotten graves seems to need a comma after lies. Also it makes the reader question what type of graves they could be. However imagination could be part of this, as I imagine some of those graves underwater with sea weed clinging to the outer side.
Overall, this is a lovely poem! I enjoyed the imagery, rhyming, and the message. I especially liked the ending- making it seem like something pretty turned into something ugly. If you want me to go over anything, let me know!
Steggy
Thanks for the review. I have edited it.