Pixie Dust

Hellue Drama! Demon here!

So.. well, I like how this piece flow and each line seperately seems quite powerful but as a whole this is just confusing. You keep to the theme "trust" and "faith" but it seems as if you present it differently all the time and I really never understood what the message and meaning with it was... Like... your first two lines, seperately they have potenital and seem to mean something to the poem but put together they just oppose each other and confuse me. Like it would make sense if you wrote;

"If the world is built on lies,
What is this faith I have in you?"

or

"If the world is built on trust,
Why do I keep feeling betrayed?"

or anything really, as long as it make sense when put together!¨

I also agree on kats comment on the title, you did involve the word "pixie dust" in this poem but it came quite sudden and wasn't that necessary. Pixie Dust isn't the title I'd use to summon this up really

Anyhows, I like the idea with this poem, but it's way too confusing right now


Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Good Poem. But I can just say that you need to smooth it out a bit. Some words don't go with the flow. But what I don't understand is how the title relates to the actual poem. I know you put pixie dust in the end, but still, it didn't work that well for me. Maybe you should've added words a lot describing pixie dust? I dunno!!


GREAT JOB AND KEEP WRITING!!!



~Kat

Hey there Drama!

I liked this poem! Although some of it confuses me, the parts I do understand are beautifully written. There is a drive behind this poem and you can clearly see that. So...let's take a look at it, shall we. (Comments in lovely green!)

If the world is made of trust,
What is this faith I have in you?First confusing part. Faith and trust go together. You're first two lines go aganist each other.
I believe that I can try to hope,
But the faith in you just pulls me back.
Trust is just a word,
Faith is just a feeling.

I can have wings, but not be able to fly,
I can sing and not have any songs to hear.

I hear the bells,
but I can't see the elves,
my trust is gone. Elves=Faith. Did you have faith in Santa, or trust?

If the world has not faith,
then what does trust matter?
Trust is just a word,
and without feeling,
Faith is not true.

When the world's outershell
is peeled back,
Do we see Pixie dust?
Or is it just Faith and trust?

Pixie Dust. This part seems lonely and extra. would either cut it, or make it it's own short, quick impact stanza.

You Had Great Grammar In This Posted I Really Injoyed This Part If the world is made of trust,
What is this faith I have in you?
I believe that I can try to hope,
But the faith in you just pulls me back.
Trust is just a word,
Faith is just a feeling.

Hi Drama... I'm here to... review, I guess... lol.


This poem is really confusing.

I have no idea what you're talking about or who you are talking to. In the first stanza... I really don't get how the world is made out of trust. I guess this poem has a meaning to you, but why not explain better? It doesn't have to be in the poem, it could also be in the spoiler?

Anyways, I think it's something personal.... xD Lol. I don't think I can tell if I like this or not. And how did elves popped into this?

However, I think I spotted a typo...

If the world has no faith,
then what does trust matter?
Trust is just a word,
and without feeling,
Faith is not true.