Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,345 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
My interpretation at least was that someone had just been murdered in front of you and you were talking rather eerily in the 3rd person. Just in that moment I would of thought time would slow down, your senses would heighten ... I think its referred to as a hyper aware state and you would be very conscious of your surroundings so the use of "silence" seemed a little odd to me.
Hi! I'm TazmaniaGirl.
This is great, by the way.
I love the kind of flow, like, how it' been produced.
I like the metephors.
" Were frozen in this world".
It's kind of a metaphor.
It's also really descriptive, I can see.
Great job, so, welll done.
(No Negatives).
TazmaniaGirl xx
May I start by saying that this is a really good poem? I am not one that reads poetry often, but I have gotten into it more lately, and I may try to write one.
On to the review side of things. The flow seemed really good to me. The only thing I might change is instead of "where we once lived", you might put "where once we lived". It seems to go along with the somewhat dark theme of the poem.
The only other thing is maybe put "is not" instead of "isn't", since it has the same amount of syllables. It is all up to you in the end, however. You have a great talent, and I look forward to reading more of your work.