Picture perfect memories

by LadySpark

  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

Published July 23, 2012

In Poems from Before I Was A Poet

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The gilded edge shows how worn the  memories are,
the glass shows how dusty the love has become.
The photograph on the inside is faded from what it once was.
The stand it once set upon has long since broken,
has long since let the picture collapse to the floor.
It sits there forgotten like the dynasties of old.

Because, even picture perfect families have cracks in the frame.
Comments & reviews · 2
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demib
Review
demib wrote a review Review · Jul 24, 2012

The emotion is good in this poem. Story peoms are very good when it has full blown emotion your whole set of mind is put into your words. Its not about the length of a peom but the emotion the time the thought and feel put into this piece of work. The flow will run as smooth as she goes if you put your mind to it.
Keep writing!
Hawinay

User avatar
Rainn
Review
Rainn wrote a review Review · Jul 24, 2012

Hello, I'm here to review this poem for you today (:

I like the story idea. It has amazing potential!
I will say, though, that it sounds more like a story than a poem. I think it lacks emotion, and it is a bit abrupt. I think if you lengthen it more and try to add some 'emotion' and 'flow', that it would improve this poem.
With that said, I really, really love the idea here.

Never stop writing!!

~Rainn



Poetry is my cheap means of transportation. By the end of the poem the reader should be in a different place from where he started. I would like him to be slightly disoriented at the end, like I drove him outside of town at night and dropped him off in a cornfield.
— Billy Collins