Just a little something I wrote. REALLY short and sweet ;)
When they first saw each other, it wasn't one of those 'love-at-first-sight' kind of deals. Far from it. They felt a burning hate for each other from the moment she walked into his third period english class. And for the next three years, they had arguments over facebook, shouting matches in the cafeteria and fist fights in the hallways. Yet, you always saw them together. And sometimes, they even smiled at each other. They talked every day, and they knew each other's deepest secrets. They would take a bullet for each other, and take the other's confidences to the grave.
Their relationship was built, she claimed, on mutual disgust for each other's habits. If anyone ever came upon them, having never met them, they would either see two people hopelessly in love, or two sworn enemies.
But really, it was the same thing at the end of the day.
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139,345 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
Short and sweet and amazing!
I loved it!!
As I read this, I clinged onto it a fair bit because we always see these type of people.
When it started to draw nearer the end, I wanted to know more into the story even though it was meant to be short.
I enjoyed it over all, even more so because the two characters were realistic and you set the scene very well, telling us where they were and then onto the relationship of the two.
"They felt a burning hate for each other from the moment she walked into his third period english class."
"third period English class."
"And for the next three years, they had arguments over facebook, shouting matches in the cafeteria and fist fights in the hallways."
"the cafeteria, and fist fights in the hallways."
Just simple mistakes.
I like the piece, however, and it actually makes sense. It's sweet. I like it.
Such a sweet little story! I love how it is so unspecific, with no actual names involved, and at the same time, each and every one of us reading can identify with it. Thanks for posting this! You definitely went for quality over quantity with this.
Hey Lamster! *hugs*
I'm so glad for reading something by you, even if it's a short piece of prose.
To be honest, I'm not sure how I should begin because there's not much I have to say. The only way I can think of putting my thoughts is that this really didn't touch me. Somewhere, it had a cliched concept and after reading such good things from you, it's the least I expect.
Also, as Braden said, if they hated each other so much why would they befriend each other on Facebook? However even if they do, why would they chat just after meeting each other and on top of it also hurl fighting comments? You could perhaps remove this thing and add it somewhere in the end.
I don't want to sound rude or something but this piece was average. I won't label it as 'bad' or 'good' but just 'average' because that's really how I felt this was like. Plus, if you really want to do it, you could maybe add in more cute things. Don't worry if it becomes a bit lengthy. :3
Anyways, PM me if you have any doubts or you know where to post on my wall. xD!
~Mia
"They felt a burning hate for each other from the moment she walked into his third period english class." I like the way you set the scene here, immediately telling us who and where the characters are.
I was confused when you said "they had arguments over facebook". WHy were they talking at all if they hated each other?
THe only other thing is that I felt that this story, while very well written, lacked closure. I really wanted to know what happens next!
As Proven By Science "Opposite's Attract Each Other"...
Picked up On this principal That is a really good Piece Of Work. I like It.