I know it's short, but enjoy! <3
**
Escape
The loud lullaby of the sea’s waves,
Plays in my ears.
The song whispers along my fingers,
And my fingers never stirring from their journey.
They have their own path,
Stitched into the clouds of heaven,
And along that path they shall go.
Who am I, to argue with them,
To lift them from this paper,
Bloody from the pain they trace?
Who am I, to begrudge them,
This peace, as they pencil the fates of those never here?
For them, this is goodbye to our pain.
For me, this is escape.
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139,345 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
This line completely captured me:
This is a superb poem. And reflects the state of mind of an honest writer. Who only writes for his/her own spiritual fulfillment and not to be praised or applauded. I love it!!!
Good job, I have one comment. Here:
"The song whispers along my fingers,
Never stirring from their journey."
It isn't clear if your second line is referring to the song or the fingers? It sounds weird, I'm assuming you're talking about your fingers, but it does sound a bit like you meant the song and just messed up with the plural part. See if you can even it out better.
Otherwise, I caught nothing wrong. Great job, keep writing!
Drama<3!!! Well I must say this poem took my breath away with its beauty and emotions. Haha. To be honest there isn't much I would change. The only one I would change is the third to last line which seems overly large compared to the others. Maybe find a way to split it? If not it's still well done and amazing. I hope this helps you somewhat. With best of wishes and good luck I shall leave this to be reviewed by others. Until next time,
Soulkana<3