Screaming Abuse

*sneaks in*

I'm supposed to be studying, but I saw this linked in the People tabby thing, and I read it, and now I'm going to comment on it 'cause I like it.

I kind of had trouble with the opening two lines. I feel like they could be done away with. The first line was cool and nonsensical at the same time. xD And the second one I couldn't tie back to when I finished.

I also felt like this was very accusing, but I also thought that helped your message get through at the same time. If there's a way to work in the story a little more, maybe what happened with the "attention whore" this is directed at, that may make it easier to relate to. At the moment, as readers, we have your little intro at the top of your post to back it up.

So the opening seemed flimsy.

But! I loved the end. Those last few lines were awesome and gave me goosebumps, and I'm pretty sure that's a good thing. The piece also throws in a bit of psychology/theory behind an attention whore's thought process, which is probably why I liked it even more.

In the end, the beginning seems to need some work, I think. But I liked it.

H'okay, back to studying. *burrows*

Keep studying writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

that was something! I definitely liked it, especially the message behind it. I don't seem to get what you mean by the first line. I might be missing something and would love to know what.Your language is simple and yet the text really well written.
[quote] What makes you so sure that just one more word will convince them,
just one more whisper of depression will make them believe you.[\quote] love these lines.

I dont think i gave a well thought review.
sorry about that.

-manisha