Published October 19, 2011
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140,812 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Hey There -
Wow. Wait - I have to read this one again - it is too good...
Ok - I love the layout - it is smooth, with a steady flow - no syllable is out of place. Nothing feels gawky.
I can hear a voice,
not yet recognizable,
yet I know it.
As it whispers like a wind
in a forgotten forest.
‘Mirror Mirror on the wall...’
THis is incredible. Loved the feeling.
Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?’
No one knows.
Because all views are distorted.
Just like a fogged mirror.
THese words have such eect on the reader. I will never look at snow white the same again...
Keep it up!!!
-IamHathor22
Such a great poem! I love the skillful use of similes and imagery, and I felt as if I was in the poetry. Also I love dark poems!! :]
This was a fantastic poem! Truly, I have nothing negative to say about this. I really enjoyed reading this, and I would like to thank you for posting this so that others may enjoy it just as much. Keep writing.
--Maya
That was great Spark! It has a good message about it. That no one is better than another. That there is none "fairest of all". It also proves that someone as beautiful as the one in mirror is only a reflection, and only that. All together, great! I didn't spot anything gramatically wrong, at first. Then I saw this
"As it whispers like a wind in a forgotten forest." Try this,
"It whispers like wind, In a forgotten forest." Better? Now this...
"like butterflies skimming over water." How 'bout this?
"Like butterflies skimming over water," Okay? Here's another,
"Like flutters of fairy wings." Here's a suggestion,
"As do the flutters of fairy wings." Sound a little better? Now, one more!
"Because all views are distorted.
Just like a fogged mirror" Try this,
"Because all views are distorted,
like a fogged mirror."
I hope I helped out!
<3 I guess we've both been writing dark these days but I guess it's because we're so in love xD!
I especially love twisted classics and this was lovely to read... yeah and dark but that's the point.
Loved it!
Keep writing, my love!
I really enjoyed this. Yes, it is quite dark but I liked it. Maybe you could put the top part before your title (where all the smiley faces are) in a spoiler because it can get in the way and distract you. Just what I would do.
Anyway, you do need bigger stanzas which contain about five or six lines, but I'm not really worried. Overall, I thought you done a great job and have a good hand for poetry. Keep it up.