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Up Here

by LadySpark


A short song, in the style of Owl City/Adam Young. If you like Owl City, you'll probably like this. :D


The air is col up there they say,
On these cold winter days.
An they tell me I should wear a coat
when I fly so I don't catch cold,
But when you're up there, soaring around
and you can't see anything but the clouds,
it makes you wonder if it's really worth it at all!

But if I catch a cold, and fall with a sneeze,
they might forget me!
So I'll just stay on the ground 
And hope there's another roun,
Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive,
Rosy sweetness aglow!

Darling, I hope we can one day take a trip,
see the things they swore I'd never see.
If I were to go right now they'd keep me there,
And I could pretend to be spaceman for a day!
But I think I' get bored an walk away,
Cause everything is gray!

Up here.


~~~~~
So.... This is for fun fun fun. It's about an adventure, flying where you've never been, seeing what you can see. And realiing it's all gray, but still beautiful somehow, then you come back down and as soon as your feet hit the ground you wish you were up there again, but you decide to stay on the ground, cause it was just a daydream.

Yeah. ;)


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98 Reviews


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Wed Jun 27, 2012 5:34 pm
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Rainn says...



(Bleh, it double posted me. Sorry about that.)




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98 Reviews


Points: 273
Reviews: 98

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Wed Jun 27, 2012 5:32 pm
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Rainn wrote a review...



You can see my review of each verse in ()'s
--------------------------------------------------------
The air is cold up there they say,
--->On these cold winter days. <---
An they tell me I should wear a coat
when I fly so I don't catch cold,
But when you're up there, soaring around
and you can't see nothing but the clouds,
it makes you wonder if it's really worth it at all!
(On the second line, do you think "On these Ice cold winter days" would have sounded better? I don't know the tune you where going for here.)

But if I catch a cold, and fall with a sneeze,
--->they might forget me! <---
So I'll just stay on the ground
And hope there's another roun,
Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive,
Rosy sweetness aglow!
(On the second line, do you think "they just might forget me" would fit? adding the 'just' part.)

Darling, I hope we can one day take a trip,
see the things they swore I'd never see.
If I were to go right now they'd keep me there,
And I could pretend to be spaceman for a day!
But I think I' get bored an walk away,
Cause everything is gray!
(Haha, this one made me laugh. :) )

-------------------
Cool, I really like this. Great job and keep it up!

Rain~




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98 Reviews


Points: 273
Reviews: 98

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Wed Jun 27, 2012 5:32 pm
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Rainn says...



You can see my review of each verse in ()'s
--------------------------------------------------------
The air is cold up there they say,
--->On these cold winter days. <---
An they tell me I should wear a coat
when I fly so I don't catch cold,
But when you're up there, soaring around
and you can't see nothing but the clouds,
it makes you wonder if it's really worth it at all!
(On the second line, do you think "On these Ice cold winter days" would have sounded better? I don't know the tune you where going for here.)

But if I catch a cold, and fall with a sneeze,
--->they might forget me! <---
So I'll just stay on the ground
And hope there's another roun,
Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive,
Rosy sweetness aglow!
(On the second line, do you think "they just might forget me" would fit? adding the 'just' part.)

Darling, I hope we can one day take a trip,
see the things they swore I'd never see.
If I were to go right now they'd keep me there,
And I could pretend to be spaceman for a day!
But I think I' get bored an walk away,
Cause everything is gray!
(Haha, this one made me laugh. :) )

-------------------
Cool, I really like this. Great job and keep it up!

Rain~




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Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:15 am
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JabberHut wrote a review...



SparkleDoubt! (Omg, pretty avatar. *touches*)

The air is cold up there they say,
On these cold winter days.
An they tell me I should wear a coat
when I fly so I don't catch cold,
But when you're up there, soaring around
and you can't see nothing but the clouds,
it makes you wonder if it's really worth it at all!


At first, this sounded really pretty and lovely and I was like yay!

Now I'm wondering what it means. xD The stanza says that the speaker's been told to wear a coat so they don't catch cold. So the speaker goes into the sky, and then they wonder if "it" is worth it all. What's "it"? My first thought was "catching the cold," but that implies the sky's really not worth much at all. In my opinion, anyway. xD So I'm moving on with the thought that flying in the sky isn't worth it.

But if I catch a cold, and fall with a sneeze,
they might forget me!
So I'll just stay on the ground
And hope there's another roun,
Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive,
Rosy sweetness aglow!


lol! If someone fell from the sky with a sneeze, I think they'd be remembered!

I don't quite understand the last line, and I didn't see the snow coming at all. However, I do see what you're doing with the whole 'cold' thing, so if there was a way to make that more obvious? Perhaps just another adjective, you know. A small change to indicate it's the chilly season!

Darling, I hope we can one day take a trip,
see the things they swore I'd never see.
If I were to go right now they'd keep me there,
And I could pretend to be spaceman for a day!
But I think I' get bored an walk away,
Cause everything is gray!

Up here.


I'm sort of leaving this song a bit confused. (This is me analyzing without the explanation you gave at the end. ;) ) The last stanza here actually sounds all over the place? I don't know who "they" is in this entire piece, but "they" apparently would keep the speaker up there forever. So the speaker says they could be spaceman for a day when... they'd be up there forever. xD I guess that hurt my brain a little. And would they get bored after just a day of being a spaceman? I think there'd be a bit of an adrenaline rush for more excitement.

I think I'd like a bit more on the "everything is gray" mentality. Rather than a roller coaster of emotions, perhaps a bit more... conclusion of opinion from the speaker? We get the ups, and then we get the lulzjk. It's a bit confusing!

So a bit more clarification on what the song's trying to say. Daydreaming isn't all it's cracked up to be? Flying isn't fun? Space is an impossible dream?! *flail*

It's a cute and fun piece, though. :D Definitely something I'd write in my freetime. Happy pieces are the best pieces!

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

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Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:23 pm
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Epicdonkalous wrote a review...



Hey there!
Yes, this is quite Owl City. You managed to capture the child-like bliss that their songs tend to have, so bravo. I noticed a few grammar/spelling errors, such as *and they tell me, and hope there's another *round, along with I think *I'd get bored. In the line "Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive", I think that the "warm" makes the line harder to flow cohesively with the rest of the lyrics. I adore "rosy sweetness aglow", since it's much-Owl city like. I think that if your purpose was to be like Owl city, it was great, but it needs just a touch more "you". Overall, it was cute!
~Epic





The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
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