(Bleh, it double posted me. Sorry about that.)
A short song, in the style of Owl City/Adam Young. If you like Owl City, you'll probably like this. :D
The air is col up there they say,
On these cold winter days.
An they tell me I should wear a coat
when I fly so I don't catch cold,
But when you're up there, soaring around
and you can't see anything but the clouds,
it makes you wonder if it's really worth it at all!
But if I catch a cold, and fall with a sneeze,
they might forget me!
So I'll just stay on the ground
And hope there's another roun,
Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive,
Rosy sweetness aglow!
Darling, I hope we can one day take a trip,
see the things they swore I'd never see.
If I were to go right now they'd keep me there,
And I could pretend to be spaceman for a day!
But I think I' get bored an walk away,
Cause everything is gray!
Up here.
~~~~~
So.... This is for fun fun fun. It's about an adventure, flying where you've never been, seeing what you can see. And realiing it's all gray, but still beautiful somehow, then you come back down and as soon as your feet hit the ground you wish you were up there again, but you decide to stay on the ground, cause it was just a daydream.
Yeah. ;)
You can see my review of each verse in ()'s
--------------------------------------------------------
The air is cold up there they say,
--->On these cold winter days. <---
An they tell me I should wear a coat
when I fly so I don't catch cold,
But when you're up there, soaring around
and you can't see nothing but the clouds,
it makes you wonder if it's really worth it at all!
(On the second line, do you think "On these Ice cold winter days" would have sounded better? I don't know the tune you where going for here.)
But if I catch a cold, and fall with a sneeze,
--->they might forget me! <---
So I'll just stay on the ground
And hope there's another roun,
Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive,
Rosy sweetness aglow!
(On the second line, do you think "they just might forget me" would fit? adding the 'just' part.)
Darling, I hope we can one day take a trip,
see the things they swore I'd never see.
If I were to go right now they'd keep me there,
And I could pretend to be spaceman for a day!
But I think I' get bored an walk away,
Cause everything is gray!
(Haha, this one made me laugh. 
)
-------------------
Cool, I really like this. Great job and keep it up!
Rain~
You can see my review of each verse in ()'s
--------------------------------------------------------
The air is cold up there they say,
--->On these cold winter days. <---
An they tell me I should wear a coat
when I fly so I don't catch cold,
But when you're up there, soaring around
and you can't see nothing but the clouds,
it makes you wonder if it's really worth it at all!
(On the second line, do you think "On these Ice cold winter days" would have sounded better? I don't know the tune you where going for here.)
But if I catch a cold, and fall with a sneeze,
--->they might forget me! <---
So I'll just stay on the ground
And hope there's another roun,
Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive,
Rosy sweetness aglow!
(On the second line, do you think "they just might forget me" would fit? adding the 'just' part.)
Darling, I hope we can one day take a trip,
see the things they swore I'd never see.
If I were to go right now they'd keep me there,
And I could pretend to be spaceman for a day!
But I think I' get bored an walk away,
Cause everything is gray!
(Haha, this one made me laugh. )
-------------------
Cool, I really like this. Great job and keep it up!
Rain~
SparkleDoubt! (Omg, pretty avatar. *touches*)
The air is cold up there they say,
On these cold winter days.
An they tell me I should wear a coat
when I fly so I don't catch cold,
But when you're up there, soaring around
and you can't see nothing but the clouds,
it makes you wonder if it's really worth it at all!
But if I catch a cold, and fall with a sneeze,
they might forget me!
So I'll just stay on the ground
And hope there's another roun,
Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive,
Rosy sweetness aglow!
Darling, I hope we can one day take a trip,
see the things they swore I'd never see.
If I were to go right now they'd keep me there,
And I could pretend to be spaceman for a day!
But I think I' get bored an walk away,
Cause everything is gray!
Up here.
) The last stanza here actually sounds all over the place? I don't know who "they" is in this entire piece, but "they" apparently would keep the speaker up there forever. So the speaker says they could be spaceman for a day when... they'd be up there forever. xD I guess that hurt my brain a little. And would they get bored after just a day of being a spaceman? I think there'd be a bit of an adrenaline rush for more excitement.
Definitely something I'd write in my freetime. Happy pieces are the best pieces! Hey there!
Yes, this is quite Owl City. You managed to capture the child-like bliss that their songs tend to have, so bravo. I noticed a few grammar/spelling errors, such as *and they tell me, and hope there's another *round, along with I think *I'd get bored. In the line "Cause the snow is falling and it makes my warm heart come alive", I think that the "warm" makes the line harder to flow cohesively with the rest of the lyrics. I adore "rosy sweetness aglow", since it's much-Owl city like. I think that if your purpose was to be like Owl city, it was great, but it needs just a touch more "you". Overall, it was cute!
~Epic
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