This poem came from inspiration that I had after watching the outsider's movie. I think this is how Johnny felt before he died.
And no, it's not about someone killing themself.
And yes, it's about a girl.
Saying Goodbye to this World...
The cool feeling trickles down her hand,
Soothing the fire burning across her skin.
She wants to do it again,
to banish the fire from in her heart.
Drenched in scarlet.
Her eyes are closed,
the fire flickering behind her heavy lids.
She wants to sleep.
Let even breath smooth the scars of the day.
She can't seem to stop,
her pain is to intense.
She bites her lip to keep from screaming,
Tries not to see the world passing by.
Saying Goodbye to this world...
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,071 Literary Works • 672,990 Reviews
Hi there. I am a little rusty on my review skills, but I'll try to make this worthwhile.
I read The Outsiders back when I was in 7th grade and don't remember it all that well, so I am going to comment on grammer more then content.
Key
Red --> optional edits
Blue --> my general comments
All in all this was very well written. I'm glad you described the images more then just telling what was happening! Nice job, keep writing!
-Jessa
I liked this poem a a lot I got a very clear image.I'm not going to give you points on the grammer because Imyself am not so good.i liked the last three lines very much has a lot of mean this poem. I say you keep writing you have some good work here . keep it up.