Ruining the Constellations (Burning Out)

This is perfect! I wouldn't change a thing. I get exactly what it means, and it's beautiful! My favorite part is:
"She says she wants to go with him
driving down the dirt road she calls the path to dreams.
She says she never wants to leave this moment,
whispering into the phone's microphone"
I love it!!
Only one grammar nitpick, actually:
In "it's ending much to quickly", "to" should be "too".

~Curiosity(killed the)Cat

Ok, just a few things:

Grammar:
"She says she wants him to hold her,
but her phone is dying,
it's ending much to quickly."
Should be: "...too quickly"

Structure:
Not entirely sure I like the structure of the poem. Then again, it's not what I am used to, so I can't really judge. Also the middle stanza is huge compared to the other ones.

Flow:
I really like how you began the poem with an opening rhyme, and then end it in the same way. The flow is great and smooth. The only thing I'd maybe change is taking out the "and" in the very last line in the poem. It could go either way though.

Great poem, I loved it. You stayed away from all the typical cliches. Now I'm really going to have to go through and read all of your other poems, because I love your style. Good luck and keep writing!
~Kay

What's with the big middle paragraph? Not trying to be mean. . "
She says she wants to run away,
wants to see the places she's never heard of.
She says she wants to go with him
driving down the dirt road she calls the path to dreams.
She says she never wants to leave this moment,
whispering into the phone's microphone
but she wants it to end too.
She says she wants him to hold her,
but her phone is dying,
it's ending much to quickly." It was a little unclear at some parts for me, like I felt the story went for a swerve, then it sort of cleared.But I think I got the overall message...

I like it! a couple things need work, though. At first I thought you were going to have a rhyme scheme because of night and lights, but then I was wrong. I would think about changing those sentences so they don't make us think that everything is going to rhyme. Another thing: where it says
"whispering into the phone's microphone"
you say phone twice and really close together, so that it gets kind of repetitive. I'd change your word choice there too.
I'm not sure what's going on, other than there's a girl who's on the phone with a guy and stuff happens. Is she falling asleep? Is she about to jump off a cliff? is HE about to jump off a cliff and she want to come? I honestly have no clue what's going on. I know, it's poetry, you aren't supposed to know what's going on, but when you put in parts that could actually be taken as almost prose, and not symbolic poetry, you should put a cohesive story line together. That's my view anyway.
I really like the second and third stanza. You did a phenomenal job. Keep writing!

Spark, I.. Gods of Egypt. That's hard to describe as anything but interesting and quite beautiful.
In the second paragraph, I would take away a 'she' or two, and add, maybe, a different word.
But quite honestly, I'm not finding any other fault, its quite beautiful.
My favorite sentence : They're burning out like the stars in black holes, ruining the constellations they lived in. : )
Keep writing, oh my goodness, you've got a talent!

Hmm. The beginning is a little confusing, maybe you could have elaborated more on what she was doing. I like how you worded the first stanza though.

The second stanza helped me understand what was going on in the beginning, but it was so....how do I put it..it was so tight and straightforward. It just didn't have that melodic tone that poems have to them.

"They're burning out like stars in black holes ruining the constellations they lived in." Okay, this line didn't go with the poem at all, it doesn't make any sense. You could try re-writing it, or just take the whole line out.

The last stanza goes along with the rest of the poem, but it still doesn't make any sense. Is she dying? The readers had no idea. Is she just upset? I have no clue.

Overall this was a pretty good poem.
Toodles.