I have forgotten these old friends.
I have left them to sit with a lost hope,
trying to believe that I will come back for them.
That I will see them again sometime
and see the world through their eyes,
breathe and laugh and talk in sync and
live as if we are one.
But I have not done that in a while.
I have met more friends, friends that could have possibly dared
to replace the old ones--friends that give me
a different world to look at, a new mind to share,
more thoughts to discover.
And yet--
motivated by sentiment, to hear those old friends'
hearts beat again, I will pick up a book and step inside,
climb through pages and pages of text
and hold their hand one last time.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Hey there, Eli from Team Marlins here for a lovely review!
I am lastly for this day going through small works that I have been aiming at the last couple of days and dare to do them so I can finally finish this to-do list! Anyways, many would understand this work in different ways, we have our different ways of understanding the same thing.
I firstly thought we are talking about real friends but it meant to be unrealistic characters inside of a book. Not like we can not have our own imaginary friends, who does not? I am a bookworm, I love my characters in each book I have taken ahold of. Even if I cry when they die-
anyways!
Not sure of the true cocept of the poem but I will assume the things the ways I see them. Your persona finds new friends and tries to ditch the ones who could not let him stop narrowing his vision, open for the world and see the wonferful things it can offer. But still you need to go back to them, why not have both of the two worlds?
Even if we do not talk about characters, not real people, who are those so called old friends of yours, I feel like it would be same concept after all for me. You need friends who brighten your day, if they make you feel down and do not let you see the world in each bad or good side of it, is this a good friend? Well, that made me consider upon this question now.
Overall, a person always needs new friends, new people change the atmosphere around us and shows us more of the world. It is a change after all! Pretty much a positive review.
Keep on writing!
Legacy here for a review.
I thought these friends were real people until the last bit when you said that you would pick up a book and step inside. This was an interesting viewpoint since some readers call characters some of their best friends. I don't think I've ever read a poem about book characters in this way. It was a good dramatic reveal at the end.
The only slightly negative thing I would have to say is I wish you would have used more imagery, it would have really made it better to me.
That's all I got. Legacy out.
Thanks for the review, Legacy!
Hey there Lupa 22!!

This is Eros here to review this beautiful poetry of yours!
To begin with, lets start with the title. A title should be of appropriate length and related to the main idea or the conclusion or the theme of the poem or any other literary work. These are the characteristics of a good title.
I am very happy to say that your work has satisfied all the characteristics I have mentioned above.
Now coming to the theme... Hmm... The theme of this poem is very very deep. You know what, the poem made me grow maudlin... This reminded of my old friends. I didn't have many friends. Just two or three. But my relations were good with everyone.
Anyways... Coming back to the topic.
This poem is really really very well written. The ideas flows very fluently.
Above this the presentation of the poem is also very neat.
You have used a lucid style for expressing yourself. This makes us----the readers to get a clear idea of the in-depth meaning of the poem.
I loved this poem very much.
I liked how you are saying that the new friends dared to replace the old friends. This part is a bit emotional.
I liked that you haven't really forgotten your old friends. Otherwise we see, the old friends get so "busy" with their new friends. i have a friend of mine who frequently replaces friends. Such people get "busy"... Haha!
But the topic is chosen very wisely. I loved everything. How you have expressed the thoughts and ideas in the manner of...or rather in the form of the poetry.
Everything is just SO AWESOME!
This deserves appreciation.
Very beautiful!
Keep writing... Never cease... Because we all want to read more and more such AWESOME works!!
Have a great day/night!
~~ Your friend, Eros.
Thank you for the praise!