Seven billion people have clocks in their heads.
The ticking cadence directs our entire lives,
Counting the seconds from when we first open our eyes
To when we last close them.
Time can carve wrinkles into our faces,
Dust powder into our hair,
Turn white paper into a musty yellow.
Time changes everything, everyone
Touching every single one of our hearts
Until they stop.
But all the clocks in the world have no heart.
As long as the world keeps turning, the hands keep moving,
ticking
ticking
ticking
tock.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,430 Literary Works • 672,563 Reviews
Radrook here to give a review in order to assist others to write better. All advice is provided with that intention and not to offend. However, if I do, then I offer my apologies. That having been said:
Thanx for sharing this poem about the inevitable passing of time and its negative physical effect on us. I like the way that the clocks are described as being heartless in reference to all the suffering that the passage of time brings. However, the clocks, whether they be internal or external, themselves are not time. The clocks merely measure what we conceive as time. But clocks do break down sometimes while time itself being totally independent of them moves on inexorably away from the past and into the future. In short, we are all time travelers.
Thanks for the idea!
Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If I offend you I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)
This is really good! It gets your mind thinking.
From what I can see you don't have any grammar and/or comma mistakes. Keep up the writing, have a good day.