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Young Writers Society



Morning

by erilea


It is not my job to steal the stars for you.

I should not have to snatch them from the sky and drop them in your hands,

Watching as they light you up with a false glow

That you don’t deserve.

I do not want to fly to the moon for you.

I should not have to lose my breath in space only because you tell me to,

Start choking on untrue promises that propel me closer

To the cratered surface of your heart.

I do not want to glitter like the sun,

Blinding myself to my imperfections

Because you don’t want to see them.

Even the sun has sunspots if you look close enough.

I should not have to become the image of perfection,

A night sky too bright to be true.

I want to be the epitome of the earth—

A rugged rock that cannot be hammered into a perfect shape,

A plant forever thriving, unhindered by the shadows,

Its leaves pointing toward an everlasting morning.


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Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:47 am
leleparadise says...



I wish there was a love button for this poem.

I love poems that are timeless and aren’t focused on just one single audience type.

You worded this so beautifully and I’m very impressed by how at such a young age, you can express yourself through poetry like this. The first line sets off the tone perfectly and stays strong through out the poem. I love the start off.

Whether it’s dealing with parents who don’t understand your individuality to friends who youve learned aren’t as trustworthy to a potential significant other who thinks you have to take care of everything and be in charge of giving the world. This poem can fit for any of those situation s in my opinion. Really enjoyed reading this. Keep writing




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20 Reviews

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Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:46 am
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leleparadise wrote a review...



I wish there was a love button for this poem.

I love poems that are timeless and aren’t focused on just one single audience type.

You worded this so beautifully and I’m very impressed by how at such a young age, you can express yourself through poetry like this. The first line sets off the tone perfectly and stays strong through out the poem. I love the start off.

Whether it’s dealing with parents who don’t understand your individuality to friends who youve learned aren’t as trustworthy to a potential significant other who thinks you have to take care of everything and be in charge of giving the world. This poem can fit for any of those situation s in my opinion. Really enjoyed reading this. Keep writing




erilea says...


Thank you so much! <3



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Mon Feb 12, 2018 1:31 am
MarianaChristena wrote a review...



I simply adore this style of poetry. I typically like bittersweet/nostalgic pieces, but empowering is definitely a close second.
There was one line that I had a slight problem with. It's nothing too serious, and it really doesn't have to be changed, but I feel that it might help with the overall flow.
"A night sky too bright to be true to the meaning of night."
It just seemed slightly repetitive. Like I said, it's not a big deal, and the poem still technically works as it is, but it might make it just a little easier to read.
I hope I was somewhat helpful.




erilea says...


Thanks for the thought! I do agree that the line is a bit repetitive. :)



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Sat Feb 10, 2018 11:56 pm
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Mbro444 wrote a review...



Wow.
This poem is great.
I mean, I thought my poems were good, but...
Wow.
I can really feel your soul poured out into this writing, and I have to say I'm impressed.
This poem really captures the foot-down feeling (if you will) of someone who is just tired of being exploited.
I love it!

(Just to follow up on what CorruptedArrow stated earlier,
Are you okay? This poem sounds like what someone who just went through some serious mental abuse would write. I'm here for you too.)




erilea says...


Nah, I'm fine. Just an idea. :D Thanks for the review!



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Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:53 pm
CorruptedArrow wrote a review...



Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If I offend you I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)

Just a question, Are you okay? Did you have a break up with someone? I'm here for ya!
There's just a few things that are in need of tweaking;

"I do not want to stitch the moon on my chest for you,
Right where my heart would be, because I know you would like to pretend
That I am whole, that if I act like I am shining inside,
You will shine too." Commas everywhere... There should be a period after 'you'. There shouldn't be a comma after 'be' and 'whole'.

"A rock that cannot be moved,
A plant forever thriving, unhindered by the shadows,
Its leaves pointing toward an everlasting morning." There shouldn't be a comma after 'thriving'.

From what I can see you don't have any more grammar and/or comma mistakes. Keep up the writing, have a good day.





A thing of beauty is a joy forever; its loveliness increases...
— John Keats